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Episode 3 · 1 year ago

Episode 3: Dadliest Warrior

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Show up for the dads, stay for the ever-evolving set of criteria by which Talha judges the worth of a father figure. 

Tis, a POCASS for a select roup ofPeope. I knowby you woman. This is a Pikeass for people who are on thispocecastwelcome to choose your fighter, a debate podcast that takes everythingfrom cerial mascots to Supreme Court justices and places them in atournament to find out which four belong on our fantasy top four. My NameIs Evan Atkinson and I am joined by my wonderful coparents, starting withEmily Lamb Wat. I'm really excited about dads and I just really want topray tribute to all the daddies in the world. All right, that's one daddyTallus, Aman Mtolo, I lik IPAs and I like dats, justlike dance like IPAs, Amen and our the repeat returning special guest, it'sClare Milburne. I it's neclared tonight, I'm drinkingOsland, Sawmeon Onk, so cheers yell sencers to the DADS up. There cheers tothe DAD's out there. I WANT NA get a starting rule out the gates. Everyonegets to say the word daddy three times, starting now, starting nowstarting right now, you can only say the word daddy three times Claire gavea face. That makes me feel like she could have cranked out like six beforeI said that she's hurting a little bit, but you canonly say the word daddy three times. This is per Parson, not pot castwide.So there's going to be a total twell, you did yo just say: Sakum, that's oneof mine! Also, that word makes me ntensely uncomfortable B'cause, theInternet, ruined it. So I won't be using mine and ill use them sparingly.You don't like being cold Daddy, that's one of Talas is gone on. It assassinating my character, but it'strue Um. So I think we should just get itstarted off. Basically we're doing a competition accountdown between ourbest dads in T v shows or movies. It's a classic dadliest warrior to pickWHO's the best we're going to start off with wl a matchup. That's both fast andfurious. It's me versus emily, its Brieno Connor from the fast and periousfranchise and furious styles from boys in the hood surious styles. Absolutely incredible! You want to tellus a little bit about how who furious styles. I will has anyone here seenboys boys in the hood. That's going to be no from me a I now from me as wellclair. I know you haven't seen it. I need everybody immediately after thisto go and watch boys in the Hood Pau your bodcouts right now and go watch itand then come back correct, Yeh, we've all just watched boys in the hood andWowe. I loved that film Lawrence Fishburn in that one. Are you kiddingme John Daniel Singleton? Wow? Let me read you some furious styles quoths.Let me read you some quothes all right MM, please this says any fool with adit can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children well hold onthat's pretythat's, a big dque, that's a big tadquote! This is a movie or the ages yoall. It is absolutelyincredible. You could pause this movie at any given time. An every single quotcould go on a movie poster every single quo, incredible jurious styles, not tomention not even just the way that this character is written, but Lord fishberhimself come on incredible actor in this piece, incredible actor. He justreally teaches his son about growing up in the current day and really teachesyou know honestly and Um does about everything that he cant not onlynurturing his child and help him grow up within the community and navigatethat world. But he also just like genuinely teachs him how to be a goodperson. He also takes in all of his son's friends. andtreat them like hisown, and we've got a lot of parents of my friends in this bodcast. That woulddo the same to me, and I know we all respect that it's going to be hard forme to argue against this one I'll be honest, sounds like this guy's, areally good, dad he's the furious and fast and furious. I want to talk aboutfast, Rian Oconner, play by Paul Walker in the fast aned purios franchise he'shere for a good time, not a long time and then weltough in the context of hislife is a human, but he he has a baby in in the seventh movie thisis the onlyflick where he's got a kid and he doesn't say much to the child, butthink of how good at that Kid's going...

...to be a triving car, pretty cool andthenit's just been nodding an orportuniy to bring vast engariasm inthe sie all I want us to talk about fastand Furios. If our lodcast could beB surious and he took it and he ran abs, I I didn't run I drove Um. Listen,there's Thi scene it the beginning of this movie, where Brio Connerplay BePaul; Walker, God's perfect angel. He never knew he was acting. He justthought it was cool that people were driving cars near him. He was drivinghis kid to school in a van and there's this whole sequence, where it's likeshifting the gearlever and like hitting nos and then it zooms out kind of likeanother good vendiesel movie, the pacifier and enzumes out ophe's drivinga minivan he's just taking his kid to school, and it's so sweet and he wasCGI in that part of the movie. 'CAUSE PAWALKER did die, which was very sad,but he was still a good dad, even if he was virtually recreated to be a gooddad. I think the best ad is one that's made out of computers and can drivereally fast. Wellnot only was he made out of computers, but it was the faceof his own. Brother. Is Okay, see AIDS, a council of it's aReal Council of Dad's moment. It's like. I can't be there to raise my fakes on,but my brothers are there the weak argument? Atheris. I waslooking into I watched the movie and he was looking into watching the movie andI did watch it. I did watch the movie Tha Niin in the ten second group Cause ThiBodgast, in which we all watch the whole. We and I'll watch the wholemovie just now y and there is a line n. An this ithink is pretty powerful andmay have already said this, but I was infn paying attention possibly, butthis line is inom. Naany argument that you can bring up about water noo is anyfool with the Dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children.I did say that, but I do think you so much for repeating it. I think thatPoul Walker said that in that movie, jus R, quick inlike, literally soconpuser obecause. Both these things have the words Torin Tem, and I can'ttell emily and Otan I' just like debating the same person and I'msoonfunTen unerknown and Owat urious styles from Boysinthe Hood. He doesn't, hedoesn't skirt around conversations. He hits him hard. Brian O'Conner skirts around corners,drifting, AI. I think we should take cose to a vote. It's Brian O'Connerfrom Fastan peries versus furious styles from boys in the Hood Clare.What are you thinking? Clar says: Furios Styles Taller: Whatdo you think? Just the boy in the hood? I'm stillgoing: Ta Voor God's, perfect angel, Paul Walker, as Brian O conor in thefast and furious franchise allright next round, it's Tolla versus Clare,it's Keith Mars from Beronica Mars versus Frank Reynolds, for it's alwayssunny in Philadelphia. What kind of mood have you been in recent alhas beenreally hitting the Veronicamars ban. I feel like to give us a little intro to WHO KeithMars is he's got to fight hard. His name isKeith. Kimaris gives up his cureer H, thougt his life. He becomes a she. He doesn't leave town,even though everybody makes them leams like. I want Telonaca ot the best lifeever and he's Super Protecte bof her. He like take care of her he's funnywith her et gives up case because of her. He like Hideshis likee. He doeseverything or wrong Bhe isn wshe's funny with ehe's funny with her, butalso really bad at his job. He makes Kupsi jokes with her. You know he's notlike a macho guy he's Gon shewording with her. What the F I'm just tellingyou I'm looking at this picture of Keithmars that I don't want him to befunny. Can I can I see what Kei Mars looks like my God and w Keith Mars looks like Lex Lutheras an acting coach. Let me rephrase at Keith Mars his niceand kind bardid inds. He looks like a pedaphile, a psode of NCIS and he just wants lookd at he best forVerontica. I could Dez myself in his forehead. Sorry, given up everything, he is a phenomenal dad. You Have LodRonicmasundstanes TAT's, you can say a efreee heard my argument, Claire. Whatdo you have to say about you're done? This is frankrsorry your own PersonalBab, Tom Milbur, Aga. First O my dad. My Dadhas been on commercials for his accounting firm in Winchester Virginiabefore, and so he like, I would consider him a t v Dad and I think thatTom Milburn is a tog class tat. Besides the point, we're arguing, Frank Rennel,I don't know if you're Camiliar, with the show it's always sunny inPhiladelphia, it's a show about a...

...number of narsicystic adults who workat aing out in Philadelphia, togeter and I'm Gon. I think you're going tofind eventually that my understanding on it's as O yourtelt Philadelphia ispretty shallow. When I compel my list of Dads, that's for this, it's hard not to sayit. It sounds like it's hard, not to say it. I wanted to say its so bad, butthat's not make anywed sit on Frankdon to interesting yeah. I know, but thedetermination of a dad doesn't necessarily be saddy. I didn't say it.I Al Said I could say it: DENIFAND's father. He is your comicrelief. Dad He's always going to make sure that you're laughing you're,probably angry at him, because Otentilly hes water Boardi deal butthenthe. U He's like manipulating you, he couldpetensiony be exploiting you. He is not like an ideal father, but at the end ofthe day, you're really grateful that he's there, because she has a lot ofmoney. Secretly te religious lost to mher friend an he wants to be part ofthe game at let's start by listening what we want an Adad right, W wit, thequalities of e Perectdatnow that we've already gone through a debate. Let'sstart, I think that we want one love andaffection o making one person name, one person thatlacked Lov an attention from their dobtat turned out perfectly fine. A Pofat man, thatman lives alone and wears costumesall day and runns around in the dark, okay lights, CRI w Wont Up Hold Up.Fatman did have love an affectionet from his father. The joker did not. Ithink we should put this up to a vote. You both have made pretty strongarguments. Tall is getting a call from his own dadright now, as as, if he has a sixth parenting sense, you better pick upthat fucking phone it in Boicem- oh, my God tall- is not even going to talk tohis own dad. That's how strongly he feels about Keith Marssit, but I thinkI don't know anything about this show. I think that Keith Mars looks like a guy that you would see like on a realty ad on, like a benchoutside of a bus. Stop- and that's I guess, that's Dad Energy Fragg Reynolds frankrunnelds is a bad father and Ithink, if we're ranking this on ability to parent a child, it might be this guy that I've neverheard of, because I have heard of frank renolds and it's all negative Yo. I amgoing to vote. I am going to cast my vote for Keith Mars or emily. What sa You ' voting forfrank because of run hand, obvviously, H, God, I didn't expect us to have atie. I'm going to ask the person- hatsliterally closest to me right now, I'm going to ask my roommate, Alex youbetter hurry that word. You know that they herd I trit Alex, which Da Between Frank Crols fromit's always Sundy in Philadelphia, Keithmars from Rock Mars who's, theBest Father Keith Mars all day baby, yes, kith marrs all day, you heard itfirst for my roommate Alex Thenk. So much all right, nut Mars is moving on bow fin. DADS aren't Os Fun, they'R,good, DADS, they're, wholesome DADS. There are many types of debt, there'smany types of Datan, all the DADS of the rainbow. Speaking of differenttypes of DADS. We have two people coming up an our next round. Who willdo anything it takes to be with their children? It's emily and Talla. It'smisss doubt fire from missus doubt fire verses, Brian Mills, from taken eithericonic dad emily. Can you tell us a little bit about MSS doubtfire? Iabtually think I would like tola to go first on this one cause. I don't know who you are ow oyou want, but I wanto bind you right. All onanbecausyou know that itme most ionic downline ever right. I say that line and youknow who I'm talking about and Talking Aboutthe Dad whowill travel across theworld for you across continents to find you all right. Not only that and takingto en taking three. It comes out that Liam niece and our greatest pursing inthe world actually triangles and...

SICABRNES, not talking Bou beacted RianMills last his cin job because he wanted tobe a better dad. He gave u being the coolest job in the world. 'cause he'slike I just want to be there for my daughter. Is there for you on a Sundayand he's there for you when you're being kidnapped Mycxr, I often fin myselves on either a Sundayor in the throes of a sex, raise the unreally bad efpinition sentences, butlike a Sunday, brunch he'll be there for you, he'll he'll sit that rose windyou, but then, if you, if youneed somebody to help you break out of the sex ring in Italy or something tole, l t do that. I wouldargue that bride mills is a very bad father on the fact that there are threeseparate taken movies in which his daughter gets gidatlie twice and thenWite Tur Ime Btis, for that is for the nature of the film Lik. They had towork that into the plot everything's for the nature of the film he's afictional character, and they didn't have to make taken too WBAT. They didthey did and they were like guess what the girl's gone a gun, you goofe Itlean,they said, don't get her well. That brings me to Misss Doutfire A K, DanielHellard, this dad, who has three kids. He gets divorced. Why does he getdivorced great questions because he throws the greatest birthday party ofall time in San Francisco, that is coract. All of these twelve year oldsare absolutely running rampant having the best time of their life. What didyou want te twelve to be able to do whatever you wanted? What O Doio Hilard,while to be able to do whatever you wanted, but in a safe place he ismarried to Sallyfield. Sallyfield comes home, sees that h. Her husband hasthrown this incredible immacuate birthday party and then decides to thendivorce him and she goes and then lives with his brother. The court thendecides that he can no longer have his children unless he gets his ownapartment and is able to pay a child's support. He went to the extreme just tobe able to have that human connection with his toote. He couldn't, he would ery. Did he take down a sex ring crime mob thing? No, that's the extreme! I'mpitching MISSS doubtfire underfire, the sequel where the ghost of RobinWilliams has to infiltrate a terrorist organization to find his m mostdaughter. He knows how to keep a secret. What do we value in friendship, pcirose,noe able to keep secret? I like to have one es e frockwhy: Don't Ye? No Hy,don't Yo! Only me too Adidn, O on last Po and Youar, taken he buy singinglessons for his daughter. Aga Rest, my case no, that hold on. Why is thatimportant? Because that's what a great dad does he restles you from aterrorist organization and then he's like you're pretty bad at singing no'cause. She wanted them. That was the one thing that she wanted and Hewaslike look. I Didn' Forget this. I know you like fucked up and you got taken bythat. So what happens at the end of that flick? That sounds like a pall,blark Malcop resolution allright, I'm gutting it up to a boat, it's misss,doutfire versus Bryan Mills, Emily of course representing misss dlfire Tolle,going for Brian Nils Claire. What are you going to go for Ery? I would like to allocate my onetwo brinmals brandmill is a daddy that said MSS dofires, a better dat.She just dropped to Daddy, like he was nothing that was a circuitous route toget there. I'm going to Vo for MISSS Dowfire as well Verga abducted Byaterrorist organization. We hope you don't ororganization. We hope you don't just remember you'r alone 'cause. Whatis misss gownfiare going to do for you dola? That's the grimmest note to m AinTalla Tha. You would come rescue me whether I have a good father or not you're right, but I'm not ait. I'M! I Eno treat that you know of all right coming into the next round Ma versus Claire, Oh boy, it's twoanimated DADS battling it out. It's Goofy from a goofy movie versus EliotBirch from big mouth Ir. Do you want to kick us off? Well? Actually, no, I waslaughing a lot about Um. I I just googled really quickly goofy's fullname, and I just want to read to you what wibedia threw out of me is goofy, a first ame or a last. AmIt's hard to say his full name has been variously given? Is George Geef we'regoing to sit on that one for a second...

George Geef, Goofis D, Dog and G G Goof? I would like to say: George Geife ishis full name for the purposes of this spot. CCLAIRE talked to us a little bitabout Elio Birchis man, eliobirch Mister Virch, played by FortFretarmison is her most wholeso dead. He is sweet, he's kind, he's nurturinghe's very sexually eyes, I'T, very sexually, open, H and he's confidenthe's teaching nic to just be whoever he is sexually in his postpuvescent lit. It really is tied up in this quote that Yo can kiss another man's penus and itdoesn't necessarily men your day, Sothe cminut. I I love that about Lli Birch.I think that that's an interesting argument that you made that he is sucha sexually powerful character and what I think is beautiful about that is thatgoofy is the most sexually powerful Disney character all time, because he'sthe only one who, as decidedly fucked somebody goofy, is the only one thatregoofy's the only one who is definitely foxed and has a kid goofy.Bol. Sorry, there's two movies about his kid how'd that happen may mally herto three children, Jud, witon and nick sorry, the girl Isney we're talkingDisney we're talking to Disnak Disney. Do you think I cing out Bot too no TI,there's nothing under those pants. I'd like to take one to bat is the deamboatWilli, isn't working anymore? Okay, it's all about Gofe and his dog e Li to bik of a factual argument. Here.The one please bring facts into this. The way you revaluate a dad is by theirchildren right, therall, right, goofy's son is the most wholesome kid out thereall right as a posted nick who who seems like he's, lost and confused andthen the eldest son that Kad's going to murder. Somebody wonder he's just axtybut Simgl en Hald, that about me in high school that I was going to murdersomeone eventually I didn have I don't want to put down Elio Birch. I thinkthat is a great character on a grat show. Goofy is a great dad for a myriadof reasons, but most importantly, homeboy went to college just to hangout with his kid. The first movie's all about a cross country, road trip aboutfather son bonding. They did all that bonding and then his kids, like I'm,going to go, join the X Games yeah. He kicked flip forlash yeah. His job wasto kick flip and you know what goofy said. I'm going to support that, I'mgoing to support my sons, essentially a liberal arts degree and I'm going to goand Eain his college and I'm going to be a disco dad superstar and just goDaddy O. I got Ono Emily just burned a daddy on m on George Geef K, a goofy. Ithink we all met Goofy a little bit when we watch the first goofy movie. Itgives us a portal ENTO, the heart of a father trying so hard to hold on to hislittle boy. Opudhe knows that he's growing up and he's going to do somecool skateboard tricks in the future, but he just wants time with his son. Idon't think he's a good dad 'cause. He like didn't know how to like, give himspace like let the kid go to college and let him grow up. You're going haveto go out in the world you're going to have to learn and you're going up andgrow, and when I went to college my dad joined college with me Di you guysremember that we all went to college together. You Remember my dad, I'm justthining that Coud is it, like. I loved that Ken was in the dorm with Uit onwas wondering. If was like, really good for you. No, I think it's really great'cause. I still haven't had sex and like. Why would I want to you know,like my buddy was right there wig manning methe whole time I thinkthis chase is like to Eliot birst that he's raisingvery incredibly sexually open us. Sexy kids is not a good argument.Actually Open Open minded, George Geef, a Ka Goofy, had a skateboarding videogame made about his prowess as a father, I understand that big mouth isrelatively young. It's very nacent in its cultural dominance, but a goofymovie makes me cry every time. How many timeshave you seen a goofy movie? I've seen it once, and I've cried once in my life.It's that good. It's the iron giant of movies, about dogs that can talk. SoI'm going to put this one up to a vote. It's Goofy CA, George Geef from a goofymovie versus Elliott, Birch from big...

...mouth. I'm sticking to my guns. I thinkClaire is as well emily. What do you think? I think I'm going to have to gowith goofy? I am so sor I this is going to be awkward 'cause, I'mgoing for Elion Birch, all right, Hey Daniel! I gotta ask you really quick: You have to vote between goofy from agoofy movie versus ellio Birch from bigmouth WHO's. The Better Dad Obergeellimerge. Tell me give me some reasonng. We've never done this beforevery okay Elliot very forgiving, with his assold children. Big Deal very,very patient continually sks for consent. In this first time, with hisfuter wife, big deal Elibirch is moving onto the semifinals. Thank you Danny.This one is a little contentious. It fathers of people who later went on tobe famous to keep that in mind. It's emily versusClaire, it's Robbi Ray from Hannamontana and darth bader fromstarns Wat teer, both of their kids were thechosen one wlbefore. We start, I think, there's two things that both of thesepeople are really good at both of these dads are both really good at vengeanceme Claresa with me keeping secrets keeping secret. Why is that a Goodyoukeep bringing up keeping secrets as a good dad factor. I think that's a goodthing to have as a Dada factor. If you can have somebody that it has your backand can keep a good secret, then what a he got, what secret Di darth mater keepthat he was luke's father. We were Asas me acting as Darthpater and U acting asRobny Ray, I think look at my mullet, I'm ready! We go we're famous before our kids came into this world. You know we were bothour own people. PUTECHIALLY! You came first. I probably came first right thato what d you mean? That's Noi, I s Oetjust, now understond, I am your father name e were iconicline, a a Dat. That's what I thought you can't Robbie Ra sai you've got an aky breaking heart.ANDTHAT'S PROB here with ut billy. Tell me whythere are so many similarities between the two. I think it's because it's thesame person with copyright issues. Er Is the most famous dad father. Dart later is t e Dad. We can say it. People burning up their points on DarthVader, up to Ibeen, counting right all right, Shalso. Remember that he' InnoLonsens Dad he does capsure and torture his daughter Layup. At the moment. Hedoesn't necessarily know theno notsse Doi that he he's not just Goingto Lakehe's not just going to be a pushover. I M The masion. They learn their lesson,all right, no stuff. We have. He does cut off Luke's hand like father,like Sat, and I thank you no you'r moving too quick oky. He wasn'tthere during Childbard, yes, Havmey died. He doesn't wanti disciplining inearly Dadhood, but eventa disciplining is, is a light term for blowing up hisdaughter's entire planet. Onli a Ackan Dad all right. You didn't put your toysaway time to kill everybody. You've ever met like that's at wild vader inGerman literally means father. Every German person was just like Oh yeah S,it' angry dad is this character's name, okay, Cool Robbie Ray he doesn'tparticularly want to give up the innocence of his daughter. He'sconstantly fighting to have her stay a little girl right. He also has toTakeen to account that his son is not as cool as his daughter, but he's stilltotally respects is son and gives his son the well needed attention that hisdaughter also hats. All I got from tha was a like Caire. IEr conpepend, as only child Evan, is so stumped on that you have the shoes between kids. I am the most deserving and the coolest think about it. What if Danny was themost famous child and Hes CLAR's brother? This is true. You just heardfrom him what, if Danny was the coolest child and your parents gave obviouslymore attention to Danny than they did to you? What? If what if Danny is thecoolest, but they should puck upbut.

They still really gave the attention toyou that you also deserved and they never made. You feel inadequate. Istill told you that they loved you every single day, just as much as theytold Davy that they loved him every single day, and yet you still recot ato et a child if they hav done that, but teoll what I putit in, I didn't supportDanny. They were like. Why aren't you likeyour older sister and he was like I'm trying I'm swimming faster than everand they're likesoeon Rankor, I wroke so many records for you. I I swamacross ten the opposite, no Clar, you are a Pece Shit, but I think c, the favorit for a long time, let's behoest, the youngest always are that's. Why I've succeeded in life to the pointwhere I am anyway we're going to talk about that a little bit later. The nextpoint that I'm going to bring up is that Robbi Ra was raised in a familywith eight kids and one outhouse he's a great dad he's iht after that Thi alikebottom and then raise a child and Tut start 'em. Now he has absolutelyeverything that he wants, except for the consistent love from his wife,because his wife is dead al. This is a duel, a duel of the fates betweenRobbie Ray from Hannamontana Darth vader from Star Wars. Tala. What's yourbout, you go first, what's Youro I'd, LoveohRobyray, let his child live a double life. More allowd allowed allowed his childto live a double life I feel like darthvader allowed. Both of is gets tolive a double life as siblings, Andt also love hers. I ot time. Think is onetime and everyone just holds it against the entire Star Wars move that IANSIR Ryo Ciss Danny. I would hold it against him, a cold it against you for your T.I would hold them apart. I M Gon, to put my vo. It's Gonto be Roddy Ray from HannaMontana. Hey we're not talking about I'm not going to be biased in thisanser. I am objectively GIN A piccess aand. I don't know who else should Botfor, because I just rarke bragay ro gray ar fater, because I'm feeling Cano,but we I don't need to do that. We' isn't Gon Goo e Grat we're going to gowith Abu Rick. Okay, I'm still calling Lucy. We have to settle this tall. Youcan't just do that because you are trying to settle it. I can go either way, though. Like I seeboth arguments honestly, you can't judge a dad more than the circumstances.He was Adelt and Luk skywalkerer bilt a Shitty Ena, while he was dult one hand, Ey lose I've kind, O quick question andI'm live on my podcast right now and just really need to T. ask yousomething: o Yeah, I'e EEN waiting, go ahadk great.Who Do you think it's better daddy, dark, nater or fobby Ray Rasarr RobbieRay from Hannamontana UNERGAD yeah, I'm going to have to go ith obbyway Ne Cadais the better netthank you so much loose. Rightrobbye Ray is moving on tothe semifinals are next round it's how Wilkerson from Malcolm in the middle,represented by Talle verses, Henry Jo from the last crusade represented by me,its seanconnery verses, Ryan Cranston, Dr Henry Jones, from the Indiana JonesFranchise is my first introduction of fatherhood in the movie. I watched this movie, probably everyother weekend when I was a kid because it kicks ass and it's very good, andonly upon recently rewatching it did. I find out that San Caeres characterslept with every single one of Indiana Jones' romantic interests and that'swild until I realized he's, like think of the poison taster in a medievalcastle, but for sexually transmitted diseases. Every one of the women youwill sleep with, has already been bedded and vetted by your father, my God ithikreal reason that kin cameto college with Evan. That's why my dad went to college with me as he wanted toch no he's happly married to my mother. He is he a good dad, that's arguable!He did name his son after their family dog Indiana, but he's a good dad in thefact that he kicks ass. He solves biblical mysteries. He has his Dope AssJournal that found the Holy Grayl, which is insane. He got shot that onetime and came back to life, that's cool and a dad. I wish my dad would comeback to life. He Si Ihave, don't worry about it. I think seanconnery is notonly the sexiest ad on this list for...

...obvious reasons, but he's also the mostunkillable Malchom in the middle. It's about the family and you know what SCrushan, a family, the Dad Howl Willpersen tepowls and, let's see, hearwhat some good poins about him all right, Talla Ho on you're, well, you'regoogling, your own entrance, I would like to say: Indiana Jones is the nameof the movie franchise. It's not anri spend her dad co be everything's abouthim and not about his son. How wolrecend lets the show be named afterhis son he's like Nono, I'm Goingto, let my sons shine, I'm going to makeNOCO in the middle riting out at the top. 'cause he's likeall about the family life he's lie. ONA give all of my son's recognition bysaying middle he's, giving melcom recognition he's giving res recognitionhe's, given whatever the young one was. I don't remember his name he's givenall home recognition, Saman, he's kind of a Baddad, otherwise Ta, it'stallwasting his time right now, yes, yeah, because he's actually about HenryJones is a biblical scholar. Henry Jones is an adventure. Henry Jones issexually potent at an old age. This is not aout cool people. This is aboutgood dad. Okay, IJU HAVEA PAN to make sho coling, I'm going to say, Soncaery Im today, Daddy, yes, I'll burn one on him. IfI'm I'm probably already out, I was make sure it's known that evenhas a four times and underqoding him. I didnot use it on that. I was iused on that no evevons exhausted his ditties clarsgot one more AL, it put it to a boat with everybody saying I want to know Wyyou're goting for Tala Osaid, ar you sure I standed by my cakes all right hold onhold on. We have a pretty aloof, Kindo out of sorts dad in Malcolm in themiddle. We have a pretty aloof into his work historian, Badassex, magnet inIndiana Jun La Cret, the Best Idean, a Jones move. You could quote me on that.We're going to put it up to a vote. It's HAL Wilkerson versus Henry Jones,I'm voting for the Diet in Indiana Jones, not because I support that hehad sex with all of his son's partners before that's the only thing you needto remember, but because you know aeally tought hard for this also he isabot as fair enough Clare. What do you think you know where I stand with the use ofmy forbeden word also. I think I an voting for him because of hisfirvulousness. It's not unanimous. Handry Jon seanconer from the lastcrusade is moving on O H, semifinals, I'm going to sick around for this one.I want emily to come up to bat O it's another animate of battle and I'm alittle nervous about how this one's going to go. Honestly, it's BobbyBelcher from Bobs burgers verses, master splitter from the teenage BMINJATurtles, okay. Well, I'm going to tell you nine reasons why Bobby Belcher isthe best ot ou NI, nine nine number one as he provides for hisfamily. Not only is he grate Entpreneur, but he also is following his own dreams,while doing it, he didn't give up his own dreams. He didn't put them on theback burner. He found how to mit them into the reality that he is currentlyliving in order for him to provide for his own family, and that is iconic.Number too he's a damn. Gud Cook. You know that he owns a pretty good burgerjoin and you know that he's better than Bobby Casto nue three, he trustes, Oh,my God, there's nine Yep you're going to have to hold on to it all rightnumber: three, he trustshs kids with so much responsibility. He allows his kidsto run the Burger joint. Whenever he's not there justhe unsafe does hespecifically believe that they can always do it? No, but he allows them toclaim that responsibility all right may not Gostat in fatherhood. What do youmean? You don't think that your parents ever allowed you to do things that theydidn't necessarily think that you were ready for but thought they all sports.Of course they did but thay. Let me run a restaurant number. Four. He supportshis children's as individuals. He lets them act normal and whatever, sincethey live. Jene runs around in a fucking hamburger suit and he allows itTina, loves horses, WO, don't like horse girls, but he loves Tina. Okay.Next, he doesn't mind changing roles, even when Tina asked him to shave histo shave her legs, he says yes he's. He doesn't care about the masculinityinvolved in a relationship he's down to be the MOM and tedout. However, youclaim tot SA happen. He does them o. He...

...has a good sense of humor. Next hedoesn't play favorites. He loves all this children's children. He loves all this children individually.He also goes above and beyond for his children's happiness. What else do youhave to say about Bobby Belcher 'cause? I can't find anything wrong with them.An Am Aly. Thank you. So much for sharing your nine reasons. Why BobbyBelcher should be a incredible dad? I think he's a great dad on that Shel. Ijust want to give you four reasons why I think master splinner is one of thebest ads of all time. Re'so number one donatello number, twoMichael Angelo number: three, it's RAFIL numberfortsleonarda! These are the teenage meininja turtles. They all have coolswords and love to skateboard and sewar tunnels. You'll see a skateboardingthree and throughout all of my dad picks master splinter found a bunch offucked up turtles surrounded by nuclear waste in a SUWR drain. Also- and thisis important, if you downe who masters wlitter is, he is a rat. He found allof these dirty nasty turtles and said I'm going to make you boys, and notonly that, I'm going to make you boys with weapons- or you could argue theethics of that, but he trained these little babies, how to fight and FightEvil and master splinter instilled in them the virtue of respect of science. These are the abportantvirties respect, science, Ninja mastery and Skayeboarn Aoy. Yes,absolutely. Thank you. Claire Master Splinter is an incredible dad. He foundthese turtles with no hope of survival and he raised them to not only survivebut to thrive and to fight against a human man covered in knives. You Reyouknow how wild it is that they made it a teenage meannintin turtles, they'rechances of survival or fucking zero. They're sewer turtles sewer turtlescovered in nuclear waste. The fact that they're, like anything turtles, iscrazy. They made it to teenage. I doubt they'll make it to adultaninto turtles.They are fighting a man made of knives emily. What do you have to say? Youhave your hand raised. I do have my hand raised. I would like to say I'mgoing to expose a very vulnerable side of myself that I don't think any of youknow about, but I'm going to, let you about master splitter, the rats, sorryde Cora, I love Teenage Mute and Inje turnals and I have since I was inanybety child. This has been. I had a teenage Muinatur Turtle, lunchbox GallI fucking loved teenage but and injer turtles, and I would like to say Evan.You are frgetting to acknowledge a very large part that is going to workcompletely against your entire argument. It is that you keep saying that masterspinner has taken in these boys as his very own, which is very sweet, but youare forgetting that he is completely abandoned, O his own daughter, which isApril. Who is also the love entrance of Donatello? Sorry, are you saying thatApril Oniila human is the daughter of master splinter, the rat, I'm justsaying Google, it are you sitting wait hold on missis the rest of the podjest,so he allows a deep dark side of himself to take over to the point wherehe actually forgets his own daughter abandons. Her allows himself to thentake in these other boys and then lets his own daughter date. His Stepchildrencoously go one overmy head, wait. Your sthis is a rat right, we're thinking.Chucky cheese gave birth to Katy Kora Andyou're, hitting both chucky cheeseand Teenage Muni Turtle and Katy Card. Oheyou know how I feel about chuckycheese and YOUV, just learne. How I feel tot T can see. You know you can'tand we're waiting to hear how you feel about Katy Kirik, but I think that weshould ignore the fact that that's wild, that that you've told me that a rat isthe father of April and the old human. It's also wild the April and the oldehuman pretty down for this turtle, beak, Ato Schredder took April, and that'swhy I splintered it and realized that it was his daughter, but he didn'trealize it was his daughter because she's, a human woman, emily he's a rat.I don't care that makes him a bad father, just like the way that Darthfader failed. If I saw a turtle hold on, if I saw a mongoose get taken away in avan and someone 's like that's your daughter, I'd be like probably not I'ma boy thats a Mamaugos, the good that was like made to toze. Oh, my God, TaeMemititos too secret of the oozi title that flick. What Goo are you talkingabout? Teos T S Lil Lotus, created by shrudder who took away apral? I didn'tdo it. I think we should put it up to a bell: A splinter versus Bobby BelcherTala. What's your vote for don't fuck...

...this up. I know where you live: Alin,Burgers, Allo, vots for Bobby Belcher from BobsBurgers Clare. I really don't want to call someone Wi obby Delt, it's Bobbybeunt! Aren't you all Bobby Belcher moving forward? I Need Clare and I needTalle. It's fill banks from the fresh prince versus Arthur Wheesley fromHarry Potter. This is just like literally Arthur. resly has never doneanything wrong at the deadokay he's just he's a sweet old man. He takes melieally Olike, like eight children and he literally ates like seven or eighthe's a lot of kids and he's just like Harry's one of ours. He has another onebecause he knows that Harry doesn't have parents and his aunt's uncle treathimlin start. This is good good. You MiG notice now and my Lineu has beetarater he's my dad that has been redeemed frank, renold, comic relief,Dud, Eliottbirch, sweet, sexually, Open D, arther Weesley is your good dad. IBou an entire team to this fight. Okay, we might not have all one if we wereall going to play a good game of shirts versus skins basketball where theshirts team we would potentially not lose too bad. Honestly, I want to takea second year to to acknowledge how great of a dad Mr Weesley is. I I can't argue withthat. I have to say he is a good dad throughout all the fiction. When wetalk about real nads rel, that that exists in the real world. We talk abouticons. These are all fictional characters,toalla art to jump in Thats La an you talk about the world thatdoesn't live in magic and fairy tales. Philip bans doesn't go to those depths.Okay, he stays above it all. Philip anks is the most successful. He is theiconic Dad Oday. He shows what it takes: The GRA, the wisdom, the compassion,the kindheartedness he actually I'd like to list. This off was accepted byYale, Harvor Stanford War in school of Business, University of Pennsylvania,Crinton University- that's all fine, but Arthur reasally went to aparts.Will Smith was on a downwood spiral until Philip banks gave him the loveand the support and the kindness and the compassion to build him back up Ospeae PAS OTE fjacol knew it uncle. Phil is one of the most historicallyimpactful T v fathers. He was an uncle in this instance, but he was a dad toCarlton and he was a dead to will. He was a father figure and an actual fatfather and more people than just Carlteno he's lather to a generation Oreha more kids in Shis, CararthurWheesley did the cool thing with the boot, and that was fun in the moviewhen he went and they all went into the boot fillbanks did kick DJ, Jezz Jeff Out of his housea lot very violently. That was pretty whack of him, but he was also a very good father, as Emily's pointed out to not just isone son Butalso Wilt Smith, his nephew and numerous other children. I'm sureI've got say their names Avee, who are they and Lok to bring in don't worry,Til George T hik, Persley harsly, allrightlasbe friend, Georgevill Paul Run jinny. If we're talking about fightingpower- and I know for a lot of these we've shied away from the idea offighting power, which is fair, but I think that in a battle Arthur Weesley'sa wizard right, he can do whatever he wants. He loses against every otherwizard he fights. Philbanks did throw DJ jzz Jeff, pretty hard out of thatdoor. Are there wel in the battle of Hodhortz? He did not lose Ari a point,that's very topical and it goes against your what he fought for. actly banksstood in a white segregation only bathroom and said I am going to use hisbathroom. He was rosaparts. He was finding the simal or warn seais going ta cut that and you'regoing to add it here. He he was finding again to racis onsegregation, not some magic Hollo Balu...

...in the air, Ki'm Sweatyn, Yo, In'tthe, point ofHarry Potter, it seems t o Harry Potter, is about Wart Race. It could have been if you find that symbolism in it SOTEResope slippery slop. We don't need to be on this slow. We can go get onanother ood wizer Aly w ar the reasons still thetop of this mountain. That's all I got to say ill of thanks is just loo. Ifyou want to call a dad right now, you're in trouble. Who are you callingPhili banks, you're stuck in jail? Who are youcalling? Well? One of them can literally Melt Telecorou. So that's a tough one,but I I'm going to put this up to a vote.It's fillbanks FORSIS, Arthur Weesley. We know where Clarentalestand Emily.What do you think of honestly? I'm ready for Jpol to have a child? That'swhere I'm out right? Yes, too, emily all right, O pleave emily says Arthur Wheesley. I am goingto say, fill bags. Of course. Thank you. Thisll really have to getyeah. I has two kids: Did you listen to sacrifices is Alex there, of course,both Pullrin hright Alex Darling. I have a question for you. Can you come to the microbone? Thank you. Yes, all right, you have to settle. This battle isbetween Phil Banks. Uncle Phil from the fresh Prince Verses, Arthur Wheesleyfrom Harry Potter, H, Il go with the dad of Ronlis Lasr. It's ArthurWheesley! I lways. Thank you. So much all right, we're going into our firstmatch up of the semifinals, Emily 'm, afraid you're in the hot seat, whetheryou like it or not. It's furious styles, Om boys in thehood versus Keek Mars from Veronica Mars. Eighty fool tat, deck can be,could make a baby, but only a real mancurated child geithmors is good. Ad Keep Marti Ith Mars just walked in Te talls roomand took him away satisfied O ee furious styles. He said everybody has aDick, but not many people are dads and Keithmars looks like a if the dad frompeppa pig was a human. My vote is going to go for Lawrence fish burn as furiousstyles in boys in the hood, because he is the only one that I recognize itsthe only one you recognize Coire arious styles, you coan get moresimpler than that all right, fury styles, is the first of our final. Fourfathers are next match up emily by the way has a competitor in every singleround of the semifinals so get ready. This one's misss doubtfire versus EliotBirch, two offeminate characters battling it out, is Eliott Purchukanwow, that's a powerful Argu of it. Oh Goog Math Um, MS dotfire we've heard the argument:Miss Doubtfire, Elia, Urch, noall right, I'm voting from MSS dout fire Reri urt right. You don't remember hisname: A GOFOR Elionoi'm going to MSEs delfire, all Right II, nou firehonestly for no reason other than Claire couldn't remember her owncombatants name. Our next battle on a semifinal, it's robby ray fromHannamontana, going up against Doctor Henry Jones from Indiana Jones,an last cruse, Emily Whan't Syou tell us a little bit about why Robbie Ray isa better dad than Henry Jones literally need, I say Mot, not only as you do. Iasked you to not only is he from the country and he teaches really greatfarm skills, an about how to you know, run a farm Clare and we love someonethat can milk Carol. We love someone that can grow some tomatoes, but healso, he raises his daughter degree, a frigking rock star and also nobody'sperfect y. it's really important whet emily said that nobody's perfect andnobody is perfect right. I don't think Henry Jones is a perfect father eitherhe never talked to his kid growing up.

That's pretty crazy. He just didn't. Hejust said: Keep shotting or Latin, and he did he studied enough Latin that helearned how to read the Holy Grayol Journal that his dad wrote. So it's apretty specific skill very dad related, but he learned it and then he found theholy grayl. He got his son to find what Jesus couldn't keep safe. That's right,God failed, but Henry Jones succeeded taller sounds like you are voting forRobby Ray Claire. What do you think f this one just like feels really unfairyto me, because this is wit those characters that were reallyimportant to me as a kid. That's right, therewas, a dynamic kid elike,tenamonths, Hi Aniini to two American heroes named after states. Gravitirusis the Besta. Let's see who joins furious styles, misss, Doutfire, Robbie Ray can emilygo for the fourpets, it's sobby belcher versus Arthur Weesley Arthur. I have togo with Harry Mater. I can't by yeah I go. I gotta CHANGE MY BOT on this onelike I said it before. It was the only a poent. I said in full respect tobecause I love it. Talle t sounds like you're going for Arthur Weesley, I'mgoing to say Arthur Weesley too. I think we're going to have to stop emilyfrom shutting out the top foor on this one bobby Velthire is rolling over an hisundug grave he's, making pies of rolling in bed your final four topmovie and TV daddies are that's fin or the Erd, evensa Odty. So many times that was only my third time. Andwe Ka a eeaill. I ain'tdone anymore, no from no on forever, Daddy, iname or Fordad. I tell you yeh,even who are our daddy's. This might have been a mistake. Our topfor father figures in Film and Television R, more dynamic daddies areour top for dynamic daddies Ar our dadliest warriors. Its furious styles,Missus Doutfire, Robbie Ray and Arthur Weesley even really brought someadversity tonight. You still fase it that's true. If I've learned anything,it's that emily against all odds, including me calling her mother duringthe podcast, could do a hell of a good job and get three out of her four inthe final four.

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