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Episode 13 · 1 year ago

Episode 13: Victorian Vagabond Vengeance

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Join our hosts for the story of Erasmus and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. This week we try to figure out what modern concepts would overwhelm the mind of a Victorian-era boy and along the way learn the value of teamwork, but never fully understand when the Victorian era was. 

Hello dolisness come gather round tohear a podcast with Jukes and cheets and bound your intrepid Os. This eveimbibed quite a lot and it seemd along the way. They've lost the plot, joinour heroes for some dubious impressions. Here's the first, it's a Victorianchild playing a game of twenty questions. Papa bybethiyg knew I was talking aboutasparacus in Yo, the fortune, teller, the thing now teller. In my hand, Isaid. Yes, it is vegetable and INSEAD IN SPARIGUS, smaller than a microwavein Wano know what I'm likhow. Do I the egg? The angers told me how I will diechoose your fiher. Welcome, use your fighter. It's acomedy debate. PODCAST were four longtime friends discuss who would winin fantasy matchups from everything from serial mascots to the eighthwonder of the world. My Name Is Evan Atkinson, I'm joined by my lovely Cohost Emily Lam Clar tolle before you guys join thiscallto say I looked at myself and I said I look like a middle schoolboynamed Austin and I just can't unsee it. I don't know how to get rid of it. Soif you have any tips, let me stop using x body spray and my othercohost Talas Oman, I'm Tala and I'm dinking a Bodpasoda. It's a personality,trait and we're joined by our special guys were so lucky to have her thisweek, she's back again, it's Clare Milburne. You guys, I'm really expendedto unite with you to kill this Victorian Child. This week after we hada really rough week class week of fighting against each other, I'm hopingthat this one will bring us together, a rough that this is how we all had tounite. But Claire gave a good tease this week. We are talking aboutsomething we've seen it as a viral trend on ticktolk people a been givingpresentations on this, but we thought Ito'd be funny for us to tackle becauseeverything's funny when we do it right so this week we are talking aboutmodern things, modern concepts, modern products that would mess up a Victorianchild very, very badly if they had to encounter this in their daily life. E really thought it was to like destroythe child, I'm just likgas. You know like things that would just be likeBlowe er mind. Okay, let's talk. Let's really fo! You want to do this allright. Let's go! Nothing can kill a Victorian child y'all. This kid has ifthe kids made it to agepen in the Victorian ar on Thou N Tirty, eighteen,thirty, even one thousand nine hundred and one that's more research than any of ushave done yes, this is when Queen Victoria waspresident of England. President Asait ICOUL got you immediately. A everythingyou're going to say is invalid. Women can't be president or no wait. Why waschildren these this child has survived at least three Colera outbreaks he'sbeen working at the the cotton factory since he was five years old, sweepingup cotton fibrs. He has them in his lungs he's a long infection already hehas been given opium since he started teething. He was given cocaine andalcoholto quiet don as a child, the smell of everything around him, becausepeople just used to throw their shit into the basements of their houses. Sois entire house and world just smelled like pure ransod shit. This kid hassurvived so much. He literally was brushing his teeth with gin, but likeessentially moonshine at that point, like you can't kill him, so we canfigure out how to kill him. We Win Yeah episode sponsor by the GeorgeWashington University Masters in Public Health Program. NASUMAL knowledge, it'son knowledge. Thank you, Claire. For doing I D, I don't know where you justpull that out from, I believe, all of it on the number she pulled out in thebeginning. I like that. We are united though this is. This is a rarity forthe PODCAST is we're all working together to really fuck up a kid solike we're still morally depraved, but they say known together in this one.Also fucked up Wyka could kill us. So this kid probably wouldn't kill o comeat me. I'm definitely dying by this kid Orassmus Arasmus. All right. I gotthat'sthat's also like the the European...

...word for study of Rod, which is funny. His name is aasmas and he's what d yousay. Ten He's a ten year old from London, all right, yeah it'so! It's meAresmus, I'm very excited beon Yo and your Tucky talky program, we're podcast in the Victorian area.Just a group of people yelling outside of a Bar, Oh, is what I think aboutunsolved murder and someone guys- I I don't know if hedid it serial. I don't think that Jack did all those murders. He wasn't evenAdo Platform. Three and four quarters rean four portersits JUS orplatformfulwe're getting into round one kicking off, I'm here, it's Evan and I'm goingup against Claire. These are things that we think could go really wrong fora Victorian child if they encountered them, it's Talki's, verses,nickelodions, slime, that's a good one! Claire Talk to usabout why nickelodeon slime would kill sweet little arasmas. Honestly, I'vejust been thinking about slim a lot lately and I feel like we're nottalking about it enough, like I just if you just like just take yourselveback to like when we were in elementary school watching the kids choice awards,Jack Black is hosting literally all they did. I don't remember anythingthat happened on any of those shows they just dumped slime on everyone.Like that's insane, was it just the winners or its everyone getting formeveryone got flyng you when you lose, you get simed and we were just likeyeah. This is so good, a a cante really get to choose, or is there like anelectroral college for Nickelodeon? That's like o college. You definitelylike went on Nickcom and like put in your vote and then somehow ever andthen the robot from my life is a teenage. robut actually got a cast likea super vote, but you think it's like it lk, so fun and what its a like, buta Victorian child could not handle it. No two slippery two green thetheydidn't have colors back that. I don't think he new with the FO. You don'tremember. It was black and white still YEP, no okay! This is I'm getting a everyone. Was Toodeep, I'm going to make a boll claim and say that this is, I think, there'snothing more representative of era. Then a bunch of people getting slimed.I think it resembles waste and capitalism in America Hey, and I thinkit's dangerous enough to drown this. Ten year old boy in life, it's aviscous sludge dropped without warming. Yes, okay. I like that. I also well ivesometing else on that. But let me tell you a little bit about Talkis. More broadly, hot fries is a categoryof snack. If we're thinking Victori and England,we're not thinking spice, there's almost no flavor here, you're growingup eating a Scotchegan BANGUS, an mash justgarbage bad food, bad food for your artorisin got anoother one for this one they putboracts in the milk so that it wouldn't taste sour. Why do you know this? I did a lot ofresearch and then I kind of just kept going. It was so interesting. VictoriinEngland was fucking terrible tw. These guys are like fuckingmonsters, theylyes like so. This is a this is an unkillable child. Okay,essentially, humans were like equivalent with apes before theVictorian era and we evolved after the Victorian era. That's what I'mbelieving! I know, I'm imagining that me as a time traveler shows up andgives arasmus one of these magical. Spicy chips for those of you don't knowtalkes ar like hot cheetos, but like Rorts, how Che doesn't Takis Yeah? It'sjust. It's really really spicy food, and I don't know if the Victorian BoyPalat is especially ready for spice at all, but especially as concentrated andas why, all as it is for your digestive tract as Tockys are like, I think, he'sgoing to eat one and be like. Oh, what is what is that? Because it's anew taste, have you ever tasted something completely new at some point you had to have, but oncethe last time you tasted something where you like, I don't know what tosay that is I'm feeling like I need to everyoone need everyone needs to, but Ithink that th there's no way that this...

...s sweet Pale, pale boy, Erazmus hasever had anything on par with Talkis he's, not sweet. Just saying he's amonster, apparently according to CPLAYR, no he's built temprent, but sometimesI'm not epudy for Talkins, and this is full admission. I Hout CITOS, my entirelife groing up didn't have hot or Hocki until like two thousand and sixteen,and they did fuck me up the first time I ate them. I was like oh in a good way.I really think that this is going to like really frew in his mind on thefront end with a taste he's never experienced before, but also on theback en pretty bad for a while, depending on how many talkis he eatslike. I get that. Probably everything you ate in the Victorian period wouldmake you shit like a river like. I bet that there was there is nothing goodabout the toilets and trouhs that these boys spent their time on. They hadbuckets whatever whatever surf or poor person is walking down. You know,Savaro. That day is going to get a just. The worst rain storm from our boys madeemptying his chamber pot into Thi Tree. Also Rashmas is rich, I'm imaginingArasmus is like got doilys on and, like he's, got high white socks and like meto shoes hit's, like you, know, hops around you', probably at a performanceo the nutcracker he's the kid we choose to time. Travel no work time, drivelingback to fuck this kid up like whatis arasms, as he o this, likewe're going to find out that this kid is going to turn into like Jack, theripper or something at some point, and we got to get him first. Nice, likethat's the only way that I'm going to allow violence against this child, nomatter how indirect is he's, Goinna do something horrible at some point. Wedon't know what that is, but right now we have to nonviolently fuck his shitup so bad. This podcast dis not condone violence against children. We need Oruin this boy. We we need to fucking, make his mind, implode and his bodyempty itself. That's why I'm saying you hit him with e one, two bunch new tastebadshits, that's my argument for Tackes or essentially dump Green Shit on him.Okay, my only thing is: There's a the decent chance. This boy has beenrudning around the suits of London and on ruddy had a greenshit dumped on himyeah. He probably ate it yeah and he probably fine. That's why he's twelve?He didn't die when he was non his brother did he ate shit, but hesurvived and he can survive line yeah. That's fair, Oh ive! No, I feel good.No were united, we're all away a minute like welcome to the first episode of chooseyour friend still stuck like imagining both of themand usually does come at us with. You know, t's, let's envision the fightClaire All be Arasmus, and why don't you be you traveling back in time toruin my day with the Greens, lime? Oh I gotta go. I play hope and stickwith my friend Timothy I put only put on we bes hig socks. Idid ncome down to the bakes the RIP, the tens Gould a go down o the ten.Well, he just go off. Work in the factory is he's he's a bit older thanme's Oleven Ano right on the villag tag. That's oo I' Disguss as the village Hag BoyFilimina, what you doing in okay, I'm walking up I'm dressed injrustd in a gray wig. Ihave A. I have a wart and a big point. He nows I look like a winch crustybeanch wat you. I thought we wourd try traveling, where I'm caring, I'mcarrying a chamber pot, but inside it is Nickelodeon Fla wa, and then theentire crowd of people come out. The cave brought them back with Yokids fromthe twenty fist century are cheering WHOA. They Weren Low, Ras Jens, Rin, Te, Co, GRO and news these capsand they're cheering and they all ha e buckets of slime and yl tump It on thiskid and we fill his entire bed chamber with green slime him in it Yep sideOnny, so that sold it. You really helped me that'swhat I was struggling with hold on aist iis they're, going to be stopping theirtracts, then they're going to have nowhere to go all right. Let me fuckingflip this Tala and you be Arasmus Real, quick and I just want to walk Eto thetalky situation. Why idnt Al Thi Gree? No, this is separate day. These are twowe're, not tat. Shakeshpe playn live Oy boy w. What do you want? Yeah? I gotsomething spicy for you to try. You...

...want to give I a little taste. I gotsome special straight from the new world from the Americas from theAmericas. I one thousand nine hundred and Ity yeah the new world, which has been itsown country for quite some time from from the Spanish colonies. Igot I got some p take take one ofthese. It's like a tobacco pipe, but you just eat. I I guess like Food Yo,do I smele it? No just just eat it. I guess I pitched it kind of run. This you might have heard of this. IsFood. Oh, like my vacant planing food aw, I con. Let Me Walk Youg throughthis right. So it's you take it. You crunch it you munch it IT'S GN! Are YouRamsy Sirramse? The first SI Gordan Ramse e? It's me yes, this is what Gordon Ramseysellinto like now you fucking ogity Ma snacks. Okay, what's your reaction? oThe SNIKPLAING TNDALL right? Listen never by. I think this FUC. I think itwas spicing the fuck up. I think, he'd be so ruined by this. If our sweetlittle boy yeah, this might be a terrible idea of how o e emily justgone. I had to stand up that was ridicuous. I think that Thi Spice would wreck him.I think that the nicklodeon slime it sounds like could suffocate him, whichis pretty crazy, but yeah, I'm guessing that. If he'sunprepared for the spice, he has no milk around he's at my water around, Ithink he's going to eat this. He's probably Goinna have to Washito withsome beer is what he's going to wash it down. That's true he's gonna. How doyou clean up slime? That's another thing that we haven't put into. How doyou clean it up? Hey you! Don't Victorian! People are gross oall right,they're, getting shit dumped on them, like literal Shit, dumped on them andthey're like yeah. I Don' need a shower. Oh Man! This is just like a lot of pussfrom the uncle's gout. All Right, I'm putting this Oneto a vote. It isbetween hot fries, okay, Talkis and nickelodeons slime as something thatwill kill a Victorian child. You know where I stand. You know where ClareStands, but Emila carious to hear what you think. It's fine from the Gatgo gowith it from the jump. I love it. Tala Ye lookthey're getting dum shit on them all the time. They've never had spikesbefore well. As somebody from the Indians, UF conpinent, I got to reck myspices. We gointo call Yeah Calle Johnycan John B e Whatt John. I want to find out from youwhich of these two things would most likely kill a Victorian era. Child youroption is either n child a boy. His name is Arasmus that doesn't matter, but it's a ten year old, Victorian boy.Is it a takes or b the slime from the NICKELODEON teen choice awords? So theIME- I don't think, is going to kill him, but I'm pretty sure that the tksare't either it's going to be what people do Toisheis Stilln as soon asthey see that he has the Sytom of having pin tapis, mainly you probablydoing flavor black like a fucking hole fish. No one else in his time Fr to befrom s theyre, Gon e, Ery and Leaches, and is Ho so I'm Ge woing, whether or not FYNG isgoing to sit ind straight to the old leach doctor first or if OI'M GONNAGOWitho you're go wit. Takis Peo, ere, terrifd, Laa, WH, th offtke aspecal more than once a month. Bat because he's O ime don't realize he',probably fine, Ooi' likeitprobly, never reoer these like little Bita Tabud. SoI'm t te Tos he's gonna end up with a doctor, anm Gointo, fuckin mercury aske, probably got a little bit o cocain his little baby, Hes Gon e John. Ithink that's perfect reasoning. Thank you. So much for your stage. Wisdom isalways John mccay. An are go to military strategist and guest on this.PODCAST has picked talkis because it would most likely incur the wrath ofVictorian era, doctors, which are much more dangerous than any of the thingsthat we are bringing to the table. I think that is smart. Moving on to thenext round, it's Talkys y'all. I...

...couldn't be happier with an outcomeright now, honestly entering into our second matchup of the night. It's emilylamb versus Tolasolmon, I'm pretty excited about this. These are these are two things that revolve around the world: The wordmiddle for one it's middle school and for oneit's the medium. It is a battle between Teresa Capudo, the Long Island, mediumand something I wore in middle school. It's Helis iimmediately has a pictureof Theresa Caputo pulled up, who looks like a Halloween costume for share. She looks as though I could buy her ata party. CITTY do bring to Resa Campoto into this she's my hero mm. Can you talk to us a little bitabout who the fuck is Terisa Kapudo? Oh Geez, she's, the Long Island medium. Let me tell you a little bit aboutTeresa here three so with a th unusual, but we like it wait. I wish I could goon a date with Theresa Capudo and we go to a bar, and I say: Can I get a mediumlong island for this Long Island medium? It's used to have like night, tearersand stuff, and that's how she found out that she was a medium and before sheeven had her own show Ou. She has three yearlong weight of people wanting tosit with her and like get a reading from her, and now you have to wait likesix years before you can get one, none of that matters to effect to aVictorian Child. None of that matter, because they're going to see this ladyand they've going to be talking about which is like their entire lives,talking about it wondering about it, not really thinking about it, all thatmuch a be more of Bu Kindof and then there's Teresa capudo in with her hairto the gods walks in, and she goes tell me aboutthat necklace you're wearing. I feel someone coming forward. Does that meananything to you and then they just get ruck from somebody that has died tothem. They just get rocks they're thinkingabout it for the rest of their lives. I don't think they can ever get over it.I don't think we painted a good enough picture of Tereca Capudo for ouraudience, who may not be familiar with her. She looks like Elvira got like hitby Whiteig like she. She looks like she looks like somebody trying really hardand only going halfway with an amy wine house costume for Halloween. This is afact she goes and gets her nails done every two weeks to make sure that hernails are exactly one inch from her cuticle to the tip of He. Now I bet shedoes even during covid she's a fucking monster. You know this one's hard andin the spirit of being totally honest, I think I might still vote for the long island person, because that'show much I think long island, anything or anyone from Long Island could killanything from the Victorigan Ara E. I would baby yeah. I'm goingtoreally slide in here. Real Qo, an roll on in here you know what, because it'sa healing in a can roll, but you didn't see it coming just like the Victorianchild is not going to see a coming. I'm would be like here's some shoes. Youcan have some comfet shoes and hes gint be like what our shoes first cool. Ihave shoes now comfortable shoes, prty sure they haveo Wen is the Victorian Erra to you. They had really chitty shoes. Okay,they had to go, get their shoe from the shop guy who like made it by hand, andwit a cobbler yeah, the cobbler, whatever ohwe're talking about Cobler O.Are we talking about? Copthat just reminded me that I want to be a cobbler.When I see exactly this is what I'm talking about me. His conversation Ouvecobblers in mymy life, Upben, delightful, look there they're scarypeople, don't want to go, see them and they also don't make that great chooseback then now, maybe they do back then no, they don't because only Maden Chinashoes were good. So this kid getting SOM t made in China heelies famouslyduring the eighteen hundred shoes made in China, were pretty rough for women.Heles are going to blow his mind, he's Goin to step into them. He's going NA,walk like normal, think, everything's normal boom kids hitting some slidesgoing down, dolla. No, I'm picking up when you'reputtitg down- and I love this idea because for one moment, sweet Arasmus.These are the most comfortable shoes. I've ever had. I feel like I'm walkingon clouds. I am it's not the Mat. The nails aren't going into a sweet softwhite feet. Like he's not, I keep breaking up the fact that he'sPale. That's just how I imagine Victorian boys he's like Oh, the Naty,Tas Ell. The nails are going into his feet like these are hurting him. Hedoesn't haveny blisters, like that. The idea of rubber and like phone in theseshoes is going to make him it's going...

...to blow his minhd and he's going totake a few steps in these shoes and then he's going to hit the cobble stonestreets of early London and just wipe the fuck out every time he tries tostand that I recently went. I live near Sohow in New York and I took my rollerblades out and on a little roller blading trip and I was having so muchfun. I'm not good at stopping, though, because I'd not rollerblade in a longtime and around me are a lot of cobblestone streets, and I will say ifyou have shoes with wheels on them. The worst thing in the world is acobplestone street, like this poor boy is probably going to feel the sweetkiss of clouds on his feet and then immediately experienced the workefeeling known to human kind, but can't you take the you can take the wheelsout if you got a wrench. I don't think he know that that's more engineeringthan this kid Hav seen in his light no wrenches in Victorian England. Ijust don't think that's true, I think he's been working in the factory. Ithink he understands unyer engineering better than any of us has ever seen onmore poddlers back then we probably did have witches, though owacen mediums, Ibet they still exist, and all of that was based on silly stuff. Like can thiswoman read? Can this woman right? Does she know Werrithmetan? Does she weighmore than a duck exactly she's thicker than a bowl of oatmeal? I mean I like they I'm in they have theCatholic Church that they were spouting some wild stuff and telling you aboutyour future, just by talking to you for a couple minutes, but they weren'tgiving you shoes with wheels in it. You know, and they weren't telling youabout people in your past that are now dead. Do youws argue: that's the Tethesis of every religion they're like he like they weren'tthey're, like reading something that was like written and then maybe, likespeaking a little something but tres Caputo is like this specific thing that only you wouldknow, and only you can relate to you and only you know about hello. It'shere all right. Let's see you Seeng Emily. You are Teres Capooda, the LongIsland medium. I will be reprising my role as ARASMAS Vitoriemboyd. Today I am going to fetch some meat from the butcher for mymom to have her servant make so here's his Seeng hello there, I'm Lokto have a whole cow hello. You've come for a reading.Haven't you whatokay for a cow? My mom set me to get a cow so right, but your GAM, your grandma's Len,really really leading me to you. Wa asyour. You Know Me Grandma, she's,good, she's hungry. She wants me to get the cow, no n, no, but your grandma oshe's dead, yeah and she's, saying that you'refeeling really guilty about that. What do you know you talk to Im and seen? He has a hardattack. Asis killed his grim yeah, wait instant. Just this motherfucker TeresaCaputo is the law all right. That's all right! Tala! Youare a time traveler! Well I'LL! Let you set up he scene. I am still Arausmus,I'm going to get some bee from the butcher to get to my mom, hello, sir.It's me resmes from the house down the street ten downing ters rap on the Praminster son. Ah, CAN II get beef shes, sorry Ar Yoni shes you Wan Chin, whothe othe fuck? Are You Youre, so small? What get off of me?You, poor person, I'm trying to get beep this yo te powerful where theshoes a I try on your fancy, show stranger go run too fast little. Does he now I love running I'mten years old and that's the only thing I can do for eentertainment I put onthe shoes I can play with my hoop play with tat. Hope: stick arder around poorpeople to do my binning and run very fast. Arasmas puts on the shoes thit's thesound of Heli going on and then the other Helie Ion, I'm so excited about these news.This feels, like I'm walking on a crowd I feel like I could got, could kiss afucking angel right now I could this is so nice I lok ww. I lost me bearing so shit, AA, fit'sGoin, slow motion. I can remember whole life. I remember whe. I was one yearsod,almost artad Colera. When I was three.

I almost started a Spanish fever and Iwas four. I almost died from Disantru and then, when I was five, I got apretty cool sweet cream present from hi dad when I was six IWAS started ocaller. Again. When I turned seven, I got to vote. I am a Terisa, Oh my God. Yeah I'd actually not like to talk toyou and I would love to talk to Evan Yol. I'm going to put this one to avote. It is Teresa Capuda, the Long Island beum versus plaleys, which oneis going to ruin our sweet baby boy, Arasmas more. You know where EmilySands- you know where Talle Sands, but I'm curious to hear what Claire has tosay. Oh my God breathe. I Nov my woil tease numberylie with Im.I get that and I fucking Love Teresa Capudo, butI'm trying to be innational for once in my life all right once for what this isit. This is the one time that I'm ever upset. I think that Arasmus is familiarwith mediums and witches and some kind of some some spiritual kind of stuff. Ithink he understands that level. Keles, on the other hand, are gonna. I wasnever allowed to have helie's because everyone told me that they were goingto stunt my growth, everyone being my Parentsi, don't know W at that work. Idon't know in what way you're gonnaot to rerab. That was the reason I didn'tever have heulies. So whenever I tried to wear my cousins Heles Ouul FollowoFer, so I think that Arasmas is going to take these Sicilles. His grows iseither going to be sunted or he's going to slide right on into the river Tanes,and that's a done deal for him and I think that's what's going to ruin himand I think Teresa Hodo well to Tohim. On the other side, yeah she'll talk tohim when she's there to t catch him whon he fall am honorable. fucking.Mention, though, thanks for te, her e came to me m also do not bring heranywhere else, because I don't want to see another picture of Teresa Capuda inmy life. I have no idea how many tabs I haveopened aftero just tarry terry caps, I'm and that wasn't even for thepodcast. No, that's just for pleasure. Y'll, I'm also going to vote for Helis.I think that the one two punch of the most comfort Erathmas as ever felt inis short and probably soon to end life, combined with the ability to have noconnection to the terrestrial earth. Every time he tries to stay up and leanback is very powerful and very scary andkind of punintended does throw you off balance. So I am going to say thatHelis is moving on y'all. We are going into our next match up the first round.It's me versus emily. Emily is trying to kill Arasmus or at least ruin hisday with a trip to six flag. I am trying to ruin our sweetbaby boyArasmeth, with the gift of a Ferbi Emily. Why don't you tell us whyArasmus is going to be? I have some ideas, but why is six flags reallygoing to rock his Shit Ma? I just need Jus egative process of Serbe. This is Ilove the shit. I love that we are putting six flags versus hervy rightnow we all never just on in the history of America, all right, 's, it's not,and this is not choose your fighters sexiist first date. Ideas. This is, ischoose your fighter. What would kill a Victoria child which honestly based oneverything I've seen so far at synonymous? No, that's true! Six flags! Imagine it we've all been there. We'veall been to something similar, fuckyon love, six legs Telis. Would you mind just describingthe feelings that you feel when you're at six flags? Oh Gosh excitement one.They also say: don't write it. If you have a hart condition and my uncledefinitely wrote it t at was not a good idea, but anyway yeah that bad ass dudeyour uncle Dac. I'm glad you brought this up. This was a point of mine. I'mglad you brought this up, keep going, but it's terrifying. Your knees areweak. You're, sweating you're, like I'm, find die. Mom Spaghetti, Youon Te re, not settingup hold on Byou, not setting up for the MS lose yourself or are you like? Theseare the symptoms of going to six lets hes. I Si e going six flags they're thesame okay, your first Eminen ponsor and the first time you ride, going downthat hill on neg bro at six flags at...

Great Adventures, New Jersey, right andbeing to specific here, but God dimm it thats rock. I would argue tt if youcould just tap into like more specific ness here. What kind of smells are atsix flags lots of throwups dum. I ased five dayold pizza, Lizzie glops, so ere at six flax, overwhelming experience alreadyour little boy has no idea where to turn everywhere. It's new experience.Do I want a funnel cake, Theyr handind out, left and right? No, I don't thinkI want one of those. Those look little scary, but you know at looks scariersthis rive that I just saw somebody die on. You know. Many people die at sixflags in a year, hopefully not many, what an average O for. We still havesix flags. It's true for people, Diepero Yeu in the idea, dude keepdoing it bro their insurance is for over a hundred billion and there's alot of articles out about how they themselves have said that that's noteven enough Wel Mogan wit, the B six flags has insurance for more than theGDP of most first world countries. Okay, Tollas said it already a little bit,but if you had a weak stomach or like a lot of like real bad health issues, youdon't want to go on these things and we're in Victori. In England. A lot ofthese thi ones got the gout. A lot lot of things are happening, outd,imagine having gout and going on a roller coaster. What would happen evenma? Imagine your footballs off the the G forse warning stands for Gout. That's fucking, crazy, six lag is veryscary. I think that Arasmus would have both the best and worst time of hislife at the Shindig. But let me tell you about something that I think isguaranteed drew in our boy, and that is E. I s invention the FERVI. For those of you don't know, I don'tknow how you don't, but a Ferbi is essentially Gremblin before you give it water. AFERBI is a little furry egg. That will talk to youand it will listen to you and you have to take care of it. You have to feed itand keep it alive, ND, essentially a baby, Tet, bad and not human. I thinkthis furbeis going to ruin Arasmus, because it is something that will speakback to him. That is not human and talk. English. A Fur afherbi is a little demon n. In this boy's mind.That is going to ask for help and give no answers on howto herdy is tha. Quiznosso mascop come Bolife. Yes, it's a it's a thred sonMonkey. The FERBI is the thed spog monkey, like I'm pretty genuinelyafraid of Ferbis, and I've had a lot of time to realize what they are all right.Y'All, I'm putting it up to a vote. It is between the FERBI versus six flagsfor what could kill our sweetbaby boy Arasmus our ten year old, VictorianChild Six flags. It's got all of the thingsall of the Pazaz of the Ferby, but like times ten there's so much going on atsix flags at all times. I agree, but I think that the furwerepresents concentrated terror. He he probably doesn't have insurance sixflacks Hass to it's that chaotic, that's a wild argument, but I hear whatyou're saying and we're working together on this and I support you. I am curious to hear what Tala has tosay: it' All a Ferbe or six flags ak to me. So I was I was Thinkingi'm justkidding. I didn't think about this it'. Six flams, like you nd, you didn't,have to say anything else to me. You just said six flags and you have thelike. I would tie at tit flags, let alone this kid. I'm probably GOINGTOdie when I'm like seventy riding, like Nigtro for the I thes time, I'm tinkingabout that guy from the six Fli commercials. I have nothing else to say.I think six legs is going to win all right. That's two buds for sixflags. You all six flags is moving on to our next round. It makes sense, I'm pretty scared of the rides myself and I'm a but a twenty first century boy Adi didn't even bring up the water parkmoving onto the next round. I need Claire and I need Tala the battle ofthe roommates, which one of these is going to kill aVictorian child first. Is it ball pits or Furris all right, bulpit, all right think about Theo, excitingtimes as a kid, and that was when bout...

...to go to a ballpit. It was anarchy, itwas freedom, no parents in the ballpin. If there was a parent in the ballcityou're, not in a Bolvmet, so no parents, no you're in Youre in court, yes,you're in court, it's illegal! So only kids. There's chaos underneath theballs. You go one layer of both two deep Inan con. I hate that phrase yeah.I don't say that one, that's not it all. We need to do to just throw him in aballpit and he's like what's happening, the callor red blue phone what'shappening, e's going to be so lost, likthe, color, red, the color, blue andfoe yeah, I was about to say, wait, hold up a ball pit, doesn't have foamin it. There's phoane pits and their ballpens, so the ball phois, the spitand spum of the JE. The foam is a ball. It's up the phone. The ball is made offom, oh, so it's the kind that like when you're in gymnastics class,because actually your parents told you it was called boys extreme, but itsreally men's gymnastics class and you thought they were teaching all the coolmoves to like riht on skatecoards and on roller blades. Atd X Games. Insteadof re, just teaching Yeu gymnastics the phone pit from that, when HEU wouldjump on the rope and swing into it and fall really downlow, because you're,incredibly overweight and Youd six, the bottom and then you start to like chokefor air, because the phone was just coming. INTAT every angle and who's sodry and y trying to crawl up and grab on Rop Yo couldn't, and you would likehave thi small panic attack your first interaction with anxiety, a your lifein that moment, and you would have to slowly crawl in dop an just make it out,and everyone would hey great job today at boys extreme and then you go homeknowing artthin just doing police gymnastics and Harassm is not comingois back he's. Not You of US do tyler. Few of us. Do I rest my furse Frse, okay frse? Are you might think of them as sexual, butthey're really just people who they are? They are just people who they aren't they're, just they're, justpeople who want to dress up as animals because that's what they want and weshouldn't shame them, and and what do they want to do once theygress up thisanimals Tawa that's up to them, ot all the way up to them. That's up to that.Sometimes he just want to be buddies. IT'S METORANB! It's Arassmi, my greatgrear, great good, great grandfather. He she's a furry on the street, O ther,there's a flaw, but keep coming some. The furris dress is an Oul sht yeah. I don't quite Lak owls hshit rat ye bit quite big. That'shonestly! As far as I had planned, I I thought that the yock would have killedyou by now. Ohohmy God, my mytoty hot. I don'tthink afery would kill a Vitorian boy, he'd been to one too many Shakespeareplays O. that's true he's seen enough spe costumes, but these are really welldone and very, very well put together something they don't know about inVictorian Times no dud what's hold on, I feel like they have to be moreimaginative in Victorian timehigher quality. For sure than what we haveimported from China right now: Okay, Okayg, Okay Sill, you prove only byAmerican made fursuits. I don't think that our Victorian boy would be thatscared of the Furrey simply because I feel like his like imagination has tobe a little heightened since there's not all that much to do so. Maybe heidentifies a little bit more with this furry than he thinks that he would,because he too imagines being an Oul yeah. I've heard about you, wearewolves! No, that's good! Now, that's a goodpoint. I think yeah t e alose placs come from that time period. Right. I think it's going to be the other. Youknow those plays about a boy being a scre owl. You know the Guardians Gahulby Shakespar. That definitely was like page two hundred and twenty six in mythird grade language arts class for sure OWL boy, I wll boy was a story. Iread in thirty grade. Thank you. Miss McDonald, Y'll. I'M gonna put this oneup to a vote. It is firtis versus ballpits, which one is going to ruinour sweet baby boy rasmis. You know where Claire Sans, you know where tallstands. Actually, I vote fhourh ballpits, Whoa, Claire, switching sides, Tevallpits off the bat all right. It is...

...two bods for ballpits, emily all pits. It doesn't even matter what I say, butI agree: Ball pits are Goingto ruin this boy, either through immunology orthrough the sheer fear of plastic in this cold, smooth stainless object thatsomehow contained all the germs in the world. Y'All it's the semifinals firstmatchup. What's Goinna get our baby boy Arasusto the grave, a D fastest, it's takys versus helies. The Battle of the boysis me Versu Talatala. Why are helees going to get Arasmus out of here? I seelike somebody who wears heligs in two thousand and twenty probably also eatsTockis. These backs absolute. They are wearing a cookie monster snapback and aJack Skellington shirt right now is their time of the season. Theirestudded belt, from Spencer's gifts as flapping in the wind as they roll downthe sidewalk of Filig. So our boy Arasmith Arasma, hello, yeah, Heta, Gonnabe, taking a stroll through town,Oyeah, yeuly, a quired heeles or I should say he's gonna- be bumping herall over town. How Fuck? How Man teese concussion number three in one day, Taller, yeah GIS, no ther, formar transportationhe's got a black home in his Helia, okay Jesus fifteen miles and along theway he stops for some tokies. Could we combine these two COMPAO? No, no, no,okay, because it would be Helesa talkes mixedwith a ballpit at six flags wo the MES go hand in hand in a way they do it'sthe same energy. Let's do it yeah. I could be persuaded in a choose yourfighter. First, in the spirit of togetherness, as we are coming intoeveryone's favorite holiday about togetherness Halloween, we are going to combine both of our final four candidates, indeach matchup into one fighter and immediately move to the finale eitherway. I think Tal is going to be a bit of a winner, but it is the combination of Helys and talkes tokill our sweetbaby boy arasmus versus the ball pit at six flag. Since Tala isa part of both of these matchups, I'm going to defer to him to pick which oneto argue for first, Oh man, no, both of these are killing him it. The questionfor me is who' WHOS WHO's, killing him FERCUS WHO's. My question where's thesix flags. It's the Loni Tunes Lodge at six flags. You heard it here. Firstwitch six flags, southern California, othern California, okay, andtho s, theone in Jersey just feels more scary, that's not where the living ton lodgesand thethat's, where the Balfit is right, so he's dying in southernCalifornia in a ball hit, that's happening for sure. It's a hundredtwenty degrees out. There's a wildfire raging outside he's dying in that ball.Pit. Also he's skating down on his heelies through a cobblestone street inLondon, choking on a Toki he's also dying that might kill him factor. I this ball pit is absolutely disgusting,so gross literally swimming through Fezes, which I know he has. He runs therisk in his daily life of getting just buckets throwin on him all of the samescary, stuff that you still smell at six fives. All the things that we puttogether in the last bay that we had about this still apply here in LunitunLand, except like the Nickelodeon slin factor, is up by like forty percentyou'r. looking at a seene kid a seem. Kid still has sidbangs kind of a mullettype of thing: Teel, hair their whole wardrobe ith, some hot topic, they're riding around in hiles they'reeating talkies, okay, this is foreign. This is new. This is the kind of personthat has ever been seen in the world before until this time. Until right now,you know hit's my about Heli's Tackis, even where you at I'm going to give itto Takis and heilies. For My vote, you all an in a storic episode of chooseyour fighter where...

...once combatants became friends andcompatriots, we've decided that the commentition of Takis and Helis is themost likely to kill a Victorian child. Do we just say overwhelm o? Thank youyeah at the end of it all, it's just really going to overwhelm our sweetbaby boy, Arasmus Phoof y'all. If I've learned anything from this episode ofchoose your fighter, it's at team work makes the Dream Work and sometimes thatdream is killing a Victorian child. My name is Evan Ackinson. Thank you fortuning into Choese. You fighter I'll, see you all. Next week, choos O Fir.

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