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Choose Your Fighter
Choose Your Fighter

Episode 10 · 1 year ago

Episode 10: Aw Rats, That Wasn't Mice

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This one got heated y'all, and frankly, went to some places that I'm uncomfortable writing down right now. This week your intrepid hosts debated which fictional rodent would win in a fight and, in the end, discovered some hard truths about our very nature as extant beings, the role of the physical and metaphysical worlds, and of course accidentally ended up on the wrong side of the internet. 

Also, if you don't already, be sure to follow us on Instagram @chooseyourfighterpod for all of the latest updates on the show! 

She sor finwelcome to choose yourfighter. It's a comedy debate pod cast where four long time, friends debateeverything from serial mascots to Sauerdo starters, to determine what isthe number one pick. My name is Evan Ackinson and I am joined by my cohostemily lamb. I would just like to say that I'm going to be saying Holy Rats,a lot Tisso and I just need everybody to no as a warning shot and TallusAlman. He I'Ma bringing back some childhood memoriestoday. I hope you are ready, oh dark ones, I'm sure and our special guest.She I emailed her earlier this week and she so graciously cleared her calendarfor us. It's Clare, Milburne Claira, moved across these great United Statesin order to really focus on what matters, which is this potgest yeah.Thanks for having me, I'm so excited to finally join L, Onyour East CoastStudia this week we are talking about some rambunctious rodents. We arepicking our number one fictional rodent couldbe rak hamster Guinea pig mouse squirrel CAPYBARRA that would win in afight. These are fictional characters, so pizza rat was not an option.Unfortunately, we're coming in hot, it's going to be me versus Clare. I amrepresenting the unnamed mouse from the movie mouse trap and Claire isrepresenting scabbars. The wizard rat from Harry Potter, Yeah Yeah, Glad Claigot it out of her system, O doctor all Ri Clair, Rox, woe just kinded forthisone out real quick, tell us about scabar Um as the rat. He is the weesly pet and he is in thefamily for thirteen years he doesn't have a pinky. He gets in trouble withcookshing Kermini cat Um. He causes a lot of trouble and the prisoner AskmanH, oter number three when he turns into a human wizard een what d he even havefor me, because this rat is baldimort's sidekick, the most powerful wizard ofall time, the size, dumble door kindo like the trash sitick like the one thatnobody really wants around. Oh He's disgusting! Absolutely! No! Doesn'tlike he's Kindof like a total weapling like you. Would he ed runs away fromevery fight he's sacrificedis arm to bring Goldenmork back to laght so dithe guy in a hundred and twenty seven hours for different reasons, but we'retalking about fighting rodents? Does he do any magic when he's a rats? What'sinteresting? Is You've just brought a regular ass rat to this fight? Iborotertat INTHEMT that can just turn into a human we're not talking aboutpeople fighting the people beat the rats. We know that I live in New York.I kicked one over a fence one time, it's pretty easy to beat a RAP TUR byear at to my rats and mouse, and it's not as endy mouse. It's the mouse fromI said Mousetrap earlier and I was wrong. It's mouse hunt Matsut is aninehuteed an ninety seven movie year of our Lord. The year we were all burst.This mouse came into American Famili's homes through theirVHS player. Mouse Hunt is essentially home alone,but instead of mcali Colken, it's just a really rambunctious Lugu woolmouse,similar to home alone, thismouse essentially murders, two adult menrepeatedly, but they don't die 'cause. It's a kids movieg. Basically, thesetwo people are trying to gain control of the House and ther being lambastedby this rascally mouse, which, like leads them to fall onto spikepits likethe vietcom or makes them burn their face alive on heaters. This bouse is amaster of trickery. I think in a fight. SCABBARS is going to run away, but it'sgoing to run right into a bar trap, or in this instance I guess a mouse trap.Yourrat doesn't do magic man like straight up's, just a rat. My my mymouse has the power of deception. They might thirteen years convinced everyonethat he was a rat most rats do that, while they don't usually live tothirteen, but I've been convinced every Ra abse that one of ther wither or Yocan't have to start questioning everything. What if that Forur oter it is veryimportant. I think we make this distinction. Can this rats come tohuman form and then go back to ratform in the middle of the fight? Is that isthat a lou like I feel, like your character is just listing himself islike one sixteenth rat on a college application to kind o like get throughmine's just a maps just straight up through through a mouse. We are mice,smarter than rats or Arot Mart of the ice. Well, yours is apparently a person,so is. Is this mouse smarter than your...

...person, if we're using the rules of mymovie? Yes, I don' know who's smarter, but one of O's bigger. My manser canuse tools, though fren has an actually doesn't have ollhands. Ther does nothing at hepe that' it everybody the rest of the call. Youcan't use your picky, whatever you're doing you can't use thincoins of allPAS Tinkis we're almost ot of tinkies. How are you going to promise anybodyanything wh with your words that cirvly won't?Suffice. I actually owned mouse trap on V hs, I feel like Oky. I always havethis awkward feeling. Bok movie is Er a naked, so god I hope so. This is mywork computer. I can't gingle that, because I feel like there was because Iwould come across it and my dad would forward it every time. This is anoffshoe just sort of tunnel would forward past it or not forwad it in anemail chain. To you being like checked in this. There is so this mouse managesto strip the main character of all of his clothes there, a Tolafoun as zeroclothes, because the mouse scrips it all with his little tea or how no helike makes a trap for the guy and the guy goes ot this machine and likethey're, trying to catch the ouse and a the details. The mouse builds a machinethat strips a man of his clothes oshould. I just keep shld just do thisone more time. Okay, Peters had a Gril, he turned into o rat and he hid withinthe weesly family, where they fed him and fattened him up and let him livehis life for thirteen years. He hid as an outlaw. He has an outlaw of rattallejust fold of a screen shot of the scene where the mouse stripes, the COK.How did you howhow? Did you just find stock photos of a man being strippednaked by a rat machine? I always look this San an mad way. What website areyou on said Gods in stone sthrifts by thechid to aray buck is no we're.Exploring this website go to the home age. We gotto figure out what else isgoing on? Oh, how o please go back for one second, I justwant to read the description of this website. Poly antologist found thedeepest whole of Kinky sex shit on the Internet. Looking up my sweetmouse WTHEtooks, that ASE dedicated to men being cutrified and hypnotized role, playingor otherwise transformed into statues, Rozen, an ice being robotic orwine uptoys, Rosenetim or otherwise. The mobilized, a community of men, gay men,had herasexual meal, but gay friendly, who were intrigued by the idea of acomplete, bontage or reduction to a mere object, either aware or not aware,blank in mine with Orolialk Torece the and enjoy the stillness of the momentto be captured in time and preserved in beauty and be admired or just a sicdellobject for someone to play, or even just a furniture, a human coffee tableor wamholder. Everyone is welcome as long as it involves beautiful men, sothey're going inher is so bad. That's not my issue with it Tik about it. Thisway, Min Na swatodon Hi was Creatin in nine nded and ninety nine Ce. This is o Ond, so the copyrightsavailable perfect I hold up just INA, stood in soon DMAN. It is one hundredand thirty five dollars. Would you like me to buy this domainand have it redirect Arvaka someone like n Nineteen, Ninety Nine, when theInternet got invented with like thank God? Finally, somewhere I can talk topeople about men petrified into stone statues. I just did Google and theWorld Wide Web and the dotcom handle was created in nineteen ighty, nine inEgh. It took eight years. That's IT eight years for people to be like thisones for sex like this one's going to be. For my boy statues, the mouse trap.Mosse will not only will not only injure you to the pointof meare death. It will invest in your future by making you a successfulcheese string, cheese, magnate and also strip you completely naked, with ahorrific machine that it is constructed exclusively to undermine yourcradibility. My Rata Wizhard, I'm going to put it up to a vote. It isthe mouse from mouse hunt versus scabbars from Harry Potter, one rats, awizard and the other one. It has done something too dark to explain. I wasabout to say this one's tough and I gotto come up with a newtransition thisone's as hard as a statue. I idn't think I would be that invested when youknow we picked this topic on rats. Well, you know these are two that I reallyone I just learne about Evans. So if that has to go ond, how you knownotable the rot is no points there, as...

...also I got to go for Claros pic what else also re like? I don't know what we'retalking about, but Enyas Clair, I'm picking it because that rack can changeinto a human. You know how useful that is not even a human O, evil wizard. Ithink you need to rewatch those movies. I've seen hem once and I know that hedoes not do very well in the wizard fighting. He has no morals. If notneither do we we're voting, I'm bringing a motat stripped, a man nakedwith a machine ate were done. We go book for the one that has a hole threaton the website. Further frozen men. I aput it freeze these boys. Are you ACAN, soTalis going? I I mean I'm going to have to bestrategic with my edit age to really get that hole. An old sex thread inthere Um, so tall is voting for the mouse partilyvoting just so I can keep seeing even be uncomfortable having convention thewebsite studs. For I don't even remember the name anymore, you know youboth t marked at at studsonstone. We have a tieall how ar we going to Brenkthis round. First, Fr a first rout tide, Withoudownsti Call Jack Yeah. This ishis topic. I'm a caljack eywat object. I'm calling from Choosour Fighter HomeStudio awe are discussing rodents that wouldwinn a fight. Thank you. So much for your topic submission we're battlingind out. This is we've had a first round tie almost instantly, and I wantyou to break that time. HHYOU are deciding between the mouse from themovie mouse hunt and scabbars from the hairy potter of Ranchat Yeah Mouse Huntis home alone, but with a mouse in the rat from Harry Potter is a wizard. Ihave to go I' Ou to go part of this one. You know it's just. You can coo all daylong, but you can't cook a magic skill. That's just this unique. You know. Takeskill takes a TEX magical skill. It takes Anatia, fix the nest wewave to goith the Wizzerrat Jack. Thank you so much for your time. It is scabbars fromHarry Potter. Moving under the next round. You've been on the light allright, Yalk Claire. We can take a break for a second, because it's emmilyversus Tala and around two. It's emily, lamb, representing Linni the guinea pigversus tall who's representing Mr Ratburn from Arthur Soyeah, I'm talking about lenning theGuinea pig from wonder pets. She is the group's leader she does wear an orangebaseball cap and a Blue Cape that is important. She loves to rescue people.That's her whole thing is that she just rescues people what Canshe do mean you know who can Nigel Ratford, AKAthird grade teacher from Arthur a kid genius? This kid was doingmultiplication. He was writing multiplication problems at like the ageof one, all right, probably going on to be like a fourth grade teacher at somepoint: Wow, the neration of kids, not just Arthur. You me all of us. Inspiredby him. We every day when I'm walking down the street, the people that I meetare all inspired by my driper morth grat teacher is like the epinome ofwell he's a third grade teacher. Now, if he gets a little bit better he'll bea fourther teacher. Raburn was in a band in college and he's a math teacher.Of course he was in a panded colleg in twenty nineteen. Mister Ratburn cameout as gay and got married on the Arthur season. Premiere I mean twentynineteen is a little late, but goot for U PBS. Who else can look so good in agreen coat with a red tie? No one lenny. She may have the emotional intelligenceof a five year old, but she wins every time she can win in a fight. What'sMister Abper, going to dol he's just going to out smart her he's going to beplaying his drones, she's going to be confused. Did we do we actually findsomeone who is a jazz musician, he's Justlike, an upright rat? I don't knowwhat else to tell you weny. She can obviously swim. She's been to spacesome skill tat. A Guinea pig has jumping gaps, claiming her fearlessnessin the faith of height. Oh, these are things that they cannot do. Sorry, iooclle things that Guinea pigscan't do vote ihave a car. He was in a band called Ratburn rats. I feel likeyou would do anything. Everybody. I've known in a band has the ability todestroy property. That's just a given...

...everybody. I've met has been so fuckingdestructive that is Beeng able to play an instrument in front of a live crowd.There was a rumor at the beginning of the show of Arthur that he ate nailsfor breakfast he's Antho. What's that word, Anve morphic, Antho performeesaid Animor Ihave a question about Mer, Ratburn and his wedding love that theydid it love that they showed it. Why was Arthur invited? You know like ifI'm a third grade teacher, I'm not letting this fuck an eight year oldinto my wedding. I was invited in my tenth Grade Mouth Teacher's, wedding,Yu. Ok, while I was in tenth Grade Didyou go nobod. His wedding was onfour wedding, so I wish I would have gone Sht you couldhave been on book Ybi.This is a fight. An this is a fighting podcast. There is no time to talk aboutlovely weddings or helping neighbors. There is a CBUFFLE. How are these twocombatants entering the arena set the scene emily? Where are we ere in aclassroom? Obviously, that's where the wonder pets live, and that's also whereMr Rabern spends his time. Mister rappern is rolling up and hisconvertible, so he's cool Ashn. He actually has onen in the show and he smashes through the tea like the classroom wall, badteacher bands at to his own classroom crashes through the fucking wall in hisvery expensive, Corvett Lenne hops, up in her car that nflies across theclassroom. We forgot to mention that she can ly Oall of five feet. No, she flies. What do you mean? Sheflies to wor her other animals are in trouble. You think that's only a fivefeet: distance. No, they go to spriaking space, my guy.They go to the depths of the ocean to save dolphins, so the depts of l, thewaterpets, go to hell and they have to fight Satan to get back out arleasonswore no wonder pebsedition. They would win on things, they would win LE. Hewent and saved t a dinosaur. What nwod has liten not done exactly? That's!That's my point: What has money? I know the WONDERPATC killed Hitler. He isagenious by the way. Okay, he was doing multiplication out one okay. What wereyou doing at one pooping in your pants, catwiy really thi? This is like a very thiishyted argument. All of these rats I feel like we all, have very pper soattachment to et it's going to be really hard to let any of them othere's,no fictional rodents in movies for adults. I just saw the new QUITNterantino movie. Can you believe that talking rat- I guess John Legwazamo's,the closest thing we'd have to a rat for adult movies, but Rreda. You knowthese. These are the delcons of the rodings that raised US episode,Tenfiyour Figter, I'm going to put this one up to a vote.It's Linny the Guinea pig from wander pets versus Mister Ratbard from Arthur,I'm going to say Linnie, and I feel like there's a lot of good reason whyshe's going to win? She saves the world and Robarn is just out here with that,and I don't think it would have voted forhim, no matter who was against him because of math, but also Winni. Shesays World Ledy. The Guinea pig though it sounds like has been to spacesuccessfully. Can time travel because she rescued a dinosaur can fly? Is thatright, Um, that's rigt, but can't she multiply that do that's the other parte. She cannot do mad. She has a calculator. She is not Chanel wfosition pressing on the coli you're,not wasting your TIMEO calculatorclaire just swept her hair out of her face tomake the point that guinea pigs can use calculators lso. How is mas going tohelp and fight? I don't care if he can multiply. Have you seen the rebootedsherlock movies? Have you sen, the mutel by fractions, aren't faced, snipers, domath and they take lives. Mister Ratburn is eight blocks awaywith a barret, fifty calliber rifle turning this Guina Tig into vapor, andthat's something we have not thought about yet: no N, no N. No! This is not.This is not whatwe're bringing to the fight here. Okay, Mister Rapper knowsthat the coreolis effect affects the travel of a bullet and will shoot youfrom across the planet. I hate his go tea, but he has to go to I'm going tohave to vote for a Liny, the Guinea pig from nunderpets the goaty had it I'msorry. I took you on that whole journey with the sniper rifle but linny movingon to our next Roun Emily. I need you to stay hot. I need to stay aroundcause. It's you versus me, emily,...

...representing Templeton, the rat fromCharlotte's web. I am representing the Ro us from the princess ride. Templetonis the rat from Charlottes Web? U, he is the epitome of a big nasty boy. Noone likes Stimpleton, not even for a second, no one likes Simpleton Um.Everyone is always telling Timpleton that he needs to be less selfish. Hebribes a lot of the animals there in the barn. But, more importantly, thisis a narrator description from Charlott webook. The rat had no morals, noconscience, no consideration, no deceny, no milk of Rodi and kindness, no higher feeling, no friendliness, noanything Sin Sik bad stinky rat who doesn't give a fuck about anybody, Hollfuck youright on up I'm going to tell you about the Ro us a the Roden ofunusual size. This is a man size rat that lives in a swap covered in firejets. This thing exists a fucky right on thecharacter in the princess bride, Wesliey, the fan boy, as you wish. Hehas made it through this whole movie, outsmarting out fighting outmanoeuvering assassins and he gets to the fire swamp with his betrothedPrincess buttercup, and the only thing that takes him down. Is this fuckingbig, ass rat that bite in whose shoulder so hard that he has to getmedical attention and the medical attention is torture. So that's notgreat. These are creatures that have survived in a swamp full of quicksandsand giant jets of fire for time unknown. A long time we'll say, the Ro us in themovie is played by a man in a dog costume that they replaced the head of h to make it look more like a ratthesem. This this rat is like five six lit atelest, okay, Hi's, a clear sizedrat that will bite for bone and muscle and Si Yeu andwill survive a fiery hellmouth in order to ruin your day, Templeton, the rat, Ithink, gets by on lack of empathy and greed. This creature, as far as I know,exists off of hate Um Evina, I'm reading the fine print on this guy andthere's a catch to their H, superhuman abilities. They ally attack if they smell blood orout of number their opponents, which I would say neither of which areHappenin right now I would say, based on the rules of the moving, that's nottrue, because there's only one r o us and there's two people that roll up onit and it still fucks one of them up. Something has happened. One of thosetwo things has happened to make them start fighting right. Nd Templeton haddug intwo a box of holloween chocolate, and this is the Boxeng chocolate thatour parrots wornus about there's a razorblade in the junior mit and itjust nix the side of Templeton's space, not enough to hurt him but enough todraw a little bit of blood, bucking, Empir, red thermal vision. Thesecreditors of the Animal Kingdom have zeroed into Tampleton and are about toturn him into a lake of Visera at the feet of the rat. God. What say you inrespond? I say what, if Timpleton jumps into a slop, then hat the rous lives ina swamp? What do you mean mm fenthat aside, templeton is the size of Iraq.The rous is the size of Claire. Someone who we know is is a violent fighter ifwe're going in a Dante, allegarian, esk kind of Latin concept of human fate anddestination. This is like bluttony versus rat. I dohave one important thing to say: Youth, but Templeton is voice by StevenMshimming bock off, damn it wet. I heard I Super Sho me not Flymay, onemovie that SBRUSEMI's too good for Heshe has said Yes to every singleperson who has called him. I guarantee I could be like I'm making a movieStephen He's like I'm already in, like that's so he'sso, quick, the in fact, tr us is actually played by Tolvus Winton Adit's, sad to see Timpletonlose so early. He was almost crushed by a cat and he made out of that. He evensaw it that Charlotte's we that Charlotte's eggsack was Gongta. YouKnow Give Birth, oh yuks! I didn't like that Prase! I rite you all, I'm puttingit up to a vote in there, Ara! U S from...

...the princess bride versus Templeton,the martyr from Charlotte's Web wjust, leasy to and jus demolish by the radsof unusual size, and this Brak my heard looan te Wepl ovenge temples in in thelater round. What I have to vote for for this freak of a monster thing right:Tal, O ats, for the monster rat, re Ygeaman for sure soting for Timpleton.That's a look! Ot! Stick it out to the bitter end Ya! Ro! US pect find outwhat it means to me. It is moving on to the next round this one's Claire, thisone's Tala Claire, is representing Sandy. The Squirrel from Sponge BobTala is representing Sherry, the mouse from Tom and Jerry solidly, not heat,bring that energy all right, while sandy lives in abubble. Let's talk about Tom Andberry, aagluiath and David we're talking aboutthe underdogs of the world, we're talking about the small ones, we'retalking about those with odds against them. Tom Neverwins a fight. Jerry is lighting. FROMN, SE fors behind Tom Right he's, throwinga thousand Doun cangills on jery he's also as a mouse. Picking of things thatare like a million times, the weight of him Eto crush is competition. He evenconvinces the bulldog to come to his side. He takes a mini mouse under hiswing and teaches him the ways of torturing cats. Jesus, we legallyCOALDNOT, say miny mouse, it's a teeny mouse, CI emailes. He takes theteenymounts under his way. Jerry is a mastermind and he is living luxury inpeople's houses. Did you just say that Tom Dies at the end of every episode? Imean like H, a part of his soul dies causeshe. Just only got nine live Sala asted by a tiny mountain smooth dresslike a supergenius. Also Jerry Sal, nams Geralwhich is like sels, IGabillan's name. No, absolutely I've never met a Gerald that I've notthought. I would later track me down and kill me GE, easy Sambel. Yes,whatever your little mouse who fite the cat every day, it's going to come insandy shee, the squirrel lady from Spongebob, who figured out how to liveunderwater as' Squirrel. Honestly, it really should just stop there she's aTexan Squirrel who knows karate arate dabbled in body building and she is aRhodeo champion. Dary mouse has been around since nineteen. Forty all right.This guy can take a fight any time, Ora fo, so replan, hes, old and e. Hesurvived World War. Two shes so far survived climate Chainin teallrest. Sheis going to win oversea level rise, whereas Jerry Willnot he's beenfighting for survival, every single God Damn Day and winning sandy fights onthe streets of the oean yeah stay down there 'cause you couldn't make it uptap, Yo, Ma down, threyea sure Jerry went tospace Oky, he can do anything. Hey cannot allow they've been to space towin every argument O. If the point is that I put a fancy air bubble, sup onand walked around actandbell tough, then jry can do that too, but he can doa lot more than just wear a suit underwater. I know that Jerry CrushesPussyn daily, but what he has I think over Sandy and sandy has a lot. She assupergenius Tat Nos Karati, Jerry, is always ready to fight. There is not amoment of Jerry's life that has been without adversity every second of everyday. He is being hunted by something four times his size. Also like whatdoes she do for kids with southern accents? Who thought that havingsomething accent was dumb and they needed o change their accent, but no,they saw sandy cheeks on TV being smart and powerful and they were like. Idon't have changed my ax and I can be smart, like Sandy, Chee Clar, powerfuland still walks around an amazing sut. We love that she's Boty cositive aswell, and what about those who were small, an lest and who thought theywere not Gali. They thought they woele David. Where are they fighting and howare they doing it? Underwater and Jerry doesn't have an astronaut suit he'slosing. Well, then, sandy cheep doesn't have an astronaut to either. Why not?That's on her being at all times, they can build an astronaut suit. I saw anepisode atomegry where they fought in heaven and L. that's not a bit. Thesewere. Cartoons are from the fifties, so...

...that was like chill to do on t V andJerry fought God. Ok, so if you're trying to talk about him being able toput a bowl on his head- but I don't think- is sandy a mammal rode in yes, Ono fighting God in her own way by living underwater is a Shary qhiting God by survivingevery day in a world that he's not allowed to be, I he is literallyrejected from Living Jerry jumped up to rove away from that house. Tom Wouldnot care how wher is hes supposed to go, live on the streets. You Tell Hem espposed to be homeless Hegu. I think Jerry's Horney for conslict, like. Ireally think that, at the end of the day, Jerry thrives off of antagonism. likewhe wants the adversity he needs it.You know like have you seen the movie cranked like no, his heart won't startbeating until he's under the rest. Exactly keeps him sharp. It keeps himon his toes. He knows exactly every single move because he's already doneit with Jerry. He knows everything that sandy could do. 'cause he's alreadyfought against it with Jerry. I've got so lerds for you, Tala milecular. separator, that's right samehe's. Got One of those she uses in who one episode called Squidbob tenicalepants, where she combines all of the characters into one character. They cannon some homoculous. They had no idea how to move all of their arms and allof their legs. They couldn't go anywhere, they couldn't do anything.Shey were milecularly, separated, Yall were putting into a vote. It sandycheeks the karate squirrel versus Jerry, the World War. Two veteran, we knowwhere Claire and Tallerre at, but I'm curious to see. whatemily thinks you're,really curious. After all this time you have, it put together, said Puzzles Ge,I'm definitely voting for Sandy and cheekings. I went on autopilot becauseI thought you were talking out of your ass. Why do you think that Sandy couldbe Jerry? No you! Don't you dare I'll hike you I'll fric and swing right outjerry the mouse he's battle tested. He knows everything that can happen. Youknow that scene in the vendor's en game, where doctor strange, fucket brainteleports and sees all Tonlian outcomes of this event and decides on theperfect one. Oh Yo mean the only reason he was created as a character he's aplot device. He's movie wasn't great. I want to say this: Jerry Mouse has neverlost a fight in his life facks. I love that you think sandy has looked he. Iknow this. I know that this fun fun podcast that we do is really agovernater sometimes, and sometimes you just got to you know no on yourcharacter's, not Gawain am very stressed on a Monday night and I needClaire to give me one sentence. One Sentence: Why Sandy the Squirrel wouldwin this fight, scientifit nooget AA. I need you to give me run. Setin Wy,worry squirrel. Scientist Lady learned how tolive under water and Concil fight, using corate and hangs out with alobster to body bills. Quinds fight against tiny, stupid little mouse, whohas t no business even being in the fight, is not even a black bell. Incarake I mean, if you throw some colons in there, I'll count it taller in one sentence. Why does JerryWin this fight? Jerry is like a prisoner in Russia. He has battletested every single day for fifty years has yet to lot light, and he knowsevery possible move sandy could pull because Jerry's already done it beforehe's already bet. God, Jerry is a savant. He is a battle tested hard fought mischievous creature, butdoesn't have what it takes to be lieful sandy cheeks, on the other hand, is awell educated, karate, enabled scientist with a southern sensibilitythat I think at the end of the day, is capable of capital murder, which issomething that Jerry I feel like physically can do, but there's someemotional blockage. He has a bit of Stockholm Syndrome and for that reasonI'm going to have to vote for sandy because she is capable of doing whatJerry could not finishing the fight halo. Three moving on Toround to sandythe squirrel, we're in the second round...

...it scatters from Harry Potter versusLiny, the Guinea pig from the wonderfets bear Eur Childhood it's timeto fight. This is Ersgabber, feels like he' he' get down and dirty do whateverthe hell he needs to do. He seems like I mean he is dirty liny. On the other hand, hes like pureand clean something you'd watch with yourtrichildren Wormtal, a k, Peter Petagru AK scabbers Hes, shown to us that anytim that he feels threatened. He will turn into a human witherd and he willfiy that you convince me Li Wha, like he's still a Rad hough, okay mayme, we can live livins stillgetting big yeah but like with powers in like a bubble boat. Where is thisfight theyare, both in the Linco Nebraska Air and Space Museum? It istwelve noon on a Tuesday. SCABBARDS is on vacation with the Wheesley familyand ended up there. Lidy the Guinea pig just finish: staving a turtle like asnucket, a jet engine and have some time to kill. Linny is calling out fortalking Mingming and we get on top of the boat and we fly over and we seescabbars what scabbar's doing you can transform into with a human wizard man.Liny has dodged comment. Ok, can she dodge o Fatha Kadabra? Can Harry PotterDodge comments, FE, really petrayed Claire this one? I I didn't want h veto betray you, but I will fight I to the death apherently. I don't want to Ijust WAN to disarm line an ope on you're Gonta, you're Gong to kill Ma.No, I just wanted Ju want to disarm them with Ha Votacadabra. I went odisarm her with the crusiadas purse. You Wante disarm money so that sheshows up on stuns in stone. My mouth is a gay. You can't bring that back. You got it.I I generally forgot that that part happen, and now it's back in my brain.I don't really know what else to say. I just know that Liny is a good personand that I goo moral erro into Thso. I've been playing the cheesepritordrinking game. I hope you all have every time emily says I don't know whatelse I have to say and every time Clairi says morals aren't part of this.I got to Dre at least once I am hosted I'm putting this one up to a vote. Itis scabbars from Harry Potter was Linny the Guinea pig from the wonderpatsTallof. I dont think linny looks a little broken, I'm going with scoutist.I have to go with my heart on this one. An I've been thinking about this a lot andit's gotto be fucking lily. Are you kidding me? It's theanythingtollivoting for Scabbers, I'm voting for Linny the Guinea pig whaare wegoingt Calli'm, calling Caroline Web. I Care O. WHAT'S UP HEY? What's that, I'm just juststraight nowing you're on the PODCAST, I have a debate. I need you to settle. Are youready Reay? Are you a sound minded body? Iundertand my Nam I'll, send you our terms and conditions later, but I needyou to vote between. We are talking about rambuntious rodents. These are rats, mice or otherwise. That would winin a fight. I need you to decide between scabbards, the rat from HarryPotter, owned by the Wheesley family tords into Peter Padigru versus Liny,the Guinea pig from the wonder, pets, the becaped Guinea pig who save smallanimals who would win in a fight? I think scabbers. Definitely. Can I geta Wa, I remember just being absolutelyterrified of anose arer at as as she could attack anyone of anything andwent ite? Caroline! Thank you! So muc your time, scattere now I oh emily, wants to. Let you know thatyou are debt. Toer, sound, O, Odery honored to me that much familyand send U Son. My laves Taer have a lovely evening Liein the second round.It is me versus Claire. It is the RO. U S from the Princess Bride, versustaning, the squirrel from the Spongebob Square, pants branchise! Iwill say this: You have the one power that makes itdifficult for for Ur. U S to win, or whatever this guy's name is m. You have a suit that protects your body fromgetting any cuts. You're, also underwater we'reat, a beach runt property inMurble Beach, South Carolina we're on a...

...mini golf course, pancake Hu Cambo unit,because that's all that myrtle beaches to me and these two fighters aremeeting on the squichy sand. The stuff- that's really good for Sandcastles, butyou can never get it just right. They're meeting on that leveled sand sandy obvious anfunctions, very wellout of the water. She is a land animal heart of the Ro. US is a being of hateand murder that has been drawn here by the blood of a beached whale I'. I'm abag pedal mammal that lives on Onlandin in the sea, abkarate in the ocean,Goodo body building in the ocean et me by at least ten times better on landand at most six inches tall. The Ro us is five fee six inches of murder andhate. It has been put up against a small Roden with SFOAM karate handsattached to it. Limbs pick up the whole swirl inits mouth: Death, Stak Spine, snap, R, O; u s victory, but you've forgotten something andClara. I really think you need to lead into this. Are these inventions that sandhe has? Ithink that the teleporter come in real handy during this time same on, saywith me now: Molacular separator and also the knockout ray is an armbessfealthy nowell a little bit. It kind of it kind of sneaks around Wesley inthe movie, but it's obviously a human in a big dog costume, so it's not verysneaky, because it's like nit's, very big as action, then, would youpersonally d e Fr Arat of enusual side? Heaven isn't fighting, though okay.This is the raintesliy at at the end of the day. The R us is a hell mound. Itis a servant of darkness. It will stop at nothing to murder, would even divefor no, but would it the rap itself stop at nothing to if this rrayanything in its PAS. Absolutely the R O us is just a spawn monkey elaborate andthe fact that they look like each other. No, I would argue if any of thesethings woi like a spog Mok, is liny I'm putting up to a boat. We've gotnowhere with this. It's the Ro US Werus Sandy cheeks. No one is no. One isgenuinely considering this teleporter, that's Anti Shi SAS and it's reallydriving me a bit insane. Emily has voted for standing squirrel. We havetwo boats, Tala and Tegoy name with respect. Please sorry Sandra Jezabel,cheeks, Sanero, Sandra and Jessebel cheeks, so much unier wit alaae. The RUS Miscinin my mind, was unstopable and I just never heard him believing anythingcould survive one lab, but I also lived in New Jerseywhen so you know angry rats. No, I know Hurricane Sandy and the wrath ofHurricane Sandy in the destruction it les. I had no school for two weeks. There was a tree on my neighbor's yarnand if sandy cheeks is anything likehurricanes Andyke, then I would be too terrified. I'm voting for thesquirlsandy cheeks is moving onto the final round. Welcome to the final round ofwigs. You can continue. I'm sorry igjest hit me. We have Peter pepedigruversus Sandy aaclaire versus Claire. All the decision is clear to me. We'vecome into the final round of this episode of Chooser pigter. It's arodant roundhouse scabbards from hairy potter versus Sandy, the Squirrel fromSponge Bob. It's the a pital round, the wizards winning this fight. Talla witeyeah 'cause, like ND's, been talking this big game about some pararticle,something and Tim alecular molecular xemporator ye and ti've got a time,jumper machine, but guess what? Oh you meen a taleporter wo. Guess what TallWait you toll? Just can't! Listen like...

...you know exactly what the fuck has beensaid: You're just like Peter pedagrou. This Melo fucker got magic sh. Youcan't even think of all right. He can literally go this and you'd be dead. IpSandy cheeks can use her knock outray that knocks anything else. Anything outlike that Knox, Peter Padigrew out then use Sir teleporter and her teleportercan transport anybody anywere and just takes them completely away. You' better. You could just like espork, key and teleport anywhere. The fucky wants to go ori like keep itcoming. I can do anything or doingbut better. Can I come at you with aphilosophical debat? Maybe well all ight. Take it as well is the magic justscience we don't have a name for yet. No. This is a battle objectivelybetween the realm of magic and the realm ofscience. This is the known versus the unknown. Magicians can't do math, okay,wrappern could do onlhe want, isn't a pot wrapper Shola? I wish you was. Ilove that to all right, but he is the legacy of math says one thing: scienceneeds math magicians say fought you to man. So Dola has put this inage Onhe way, he'scalled the wizard of magician, which is actibake on the part of my brain. Thatmeans I have to oppose all magicians because I bucking hate Chisien h. Thisis more of a philosophical battle than I ever thought we would get to on acompetition of what Rak wins in a fight, because this is this is the idea ofsorcery of magic of the Arcane of the unknown person, the manipulation ofknown principles of physics, humanity in the world. This is the idea ofintellect versus intuition. This is the perfect icotomy of alchemy as it exists.This is the ultimate dibade scatters the rat was to say no Ta Squirel. Ifone of these winds, everything I know is wrong. I don't fuck in know what tosay. I am tewildered and befuddled. I am Te. Sigmonson sounds like somethinga mugul would say: okay, at's true got him just 'cause. You can't understand theenormity of magic. You cannot yet to rationalize it with numbers and LatinLetters. Okay, it is beyond that. It is a greater spirit than all of that, and maybe you just don't have it. MaybeSandy just doesn't have it M. Sorry, I've spit this entire podcast yellingabout sandy cheeks. I don't know what else to say and yes that is a drink foryou, sir. Take a SIP Sanne takes, can literallybring down boats with her brute strengths. She doesn't need magic forthat. She doesn't need magic to be able to create these things. If this mandoes not have magic, what does he have a ratbody? That's it I'm putting it up to a votes. It is scabbarus from Harry PotterVersus Sandy the Squirrel for the ultimate victory of our fighter ofchoice. If even Atkinson were to pet who wouldwin in a fight, it's going to be Sandy Wow wow science beats magic any time hewilno wizards. We we all, though wizards all the wizards I know are pretty late.Yes 'cause, you don't know any 'cause. You were muggle emily, who you ruin, save Andy, come on Taller.What's your vote, whe wizherd, Talles, betted, Foug, scabbers and players, andI know that they say thos all the time, but I think that I would like moral toHae ome value here, and I ti the San e Chee Cot e butter rodent an covers, soshe should win at the end of a incargwe are most contentious. Matcha sandycheeks is the ultimate rodent in a fight Yal. If I've learned anything,it's that you might grow out of your belief in magic, but science is still Fucka thatpinchooser fighter inames even Ackinson. Thank you for joining us. We'll see you next week.

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